I watched this abomination of a movie over the weekend with my nephew. We’re both huge fans of the cartoon. It’s Tre’s favorite. So when we heard about the movie, we both were pretty excited for it. Then I heard M. Night Shyamalamadingdong was attached to direct, and my excitement immediately dropped.

Then I watched a special with Shyamalamadingdong on the making of the movie, and learned some troubling things. Number 1, no Kiyoshi warriors. They’re kind of important to the story, but whatever. Then I noticed he kept pronouncing Aang’s name as “Ong” instead of “Ayng”, and then he explained that that was how the Asian people would really say the name. I’m immediately like, “Fuck that shit!” Who gives a shit how they would say it. Its been pronounced “ayng” for three fucking seasons. That’s the name. What pissed me off most about that was not that the name was changed, it was that he was a hypocritical douchebag. He talks about the Asian people then casts two white people as two of the biggest roles. That being Sokka(pronounced ‘soeka’ now) and Katara. Never mind the entire water tribe looked like Inuit’s in the movie. Apparently we’re not supposed to notice that though.

Thirdly, Prince Zuko’s scar is barely noticeable. Again, kind of a big thing. It’s what makes him noticeable, what makes him unable to hide his shame and dishonor at the hands of his father. Now it’s just a little scratch that a little neosporin can take care of. Speaking of Zuko, his Uncle Iroh(now pronounced ‘eeroe’), Is not a fat jolly wise old man, but seemed more like a personal attendant. I felt no love coming from Iroh like I did in the cartoon. He was by far my favorite character in the show besides Aang.

Zuko’s father is horribly cast. Nothing about him screams Fire Lord. Just so fuckin’ bad. But even worse casting was the casting of Aasif Mandvi as Commander Zhao. Soon as he appeared on screen I thought, “Fuckin really?” I just can’t take him seriously after watching the Daily Show for years. I kept waiting for him to say something outlandish. But alas, he played it straight…just like everybody else.

Which brings me to point four. The complete lack of humor and personality in the movie. What made the show so endearing was the humor despite the herculean task in front of our would be heroes. They always managed to keep a fun positive air around them. In the movie its doom and gloom and the emotion they did try just did not come off good. I felt nothing for any of the character’s. Even when Princess Yue sacrificed herself, I just didn’t care.

The most telling thing about the movie is when my 7 year old nephew said, “The best part of the movie was at the beginning when they were doing the “fire, water, earth, air” thing.” He was harder on the movie than me, and he’s the key demographic. That’s saying something and that something isn’t fuckin’ good.

In closing, fuck you M. Night Shyamalamadingdong. Fuck you, your shitty writing, and your shitty directing. You’re barely a step behind Keanu Reeve’s as far as Hollywood shit is concerned. I bid you good day.

With my oh so exciting life, I haven’t blogged as much as I’d like. So now I’m just bloggin’ to be bloggin’. Prepare for your mind to be blown. Or not, whatever.

Talked to my sister. She’s in some sober house in Missouri. I’m not holding my breath or anything. You know me, expect the worst, then your not disappointed when it happens. She got her 30 day chip a week or so ago. It’s hard to get excited about these things when you’ve been beat down so many times by hope. Fuck hope!

Had the big family Thanksgiving Saturday. Ive been told the kids were good. I didn’t go. Not a fan. I sat home, got caught up on some shows, played a little 360. Just a little me time before the hellions returned home. Best part of Thanksgiving…cherry cheese cake. Oh and thanks for the piece of pumpkin pie Sally!

Haven’t read anything since I finished Salem’s Lot, which I enjoyed a lot. Might have to read some more Stephen King…shut up Allen! Gonna start something today. Not sure what yet. Since my last “what I’ve read” post, Ive only read a couple things. I read the first two books in Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I liked ‘Interview with a Vampire’ better than ‘The Vampire Lestat’, though I really enjoyed reading about Lestat’s past. The rock ‘n’ roll crap was kind of lame though. Also read Elric: The Stealer of Souls. Its like Conan the Barbarian, but Elric is albino, weak, and wields a mystical sword that feeds off the souls of it’s victims making Elric strong like bull. Good stuff. That’s really about it.

I’ve watched Scott Pilgrim vs the World about 10 times in the last couple weeks. So much fun. Easily my favorite movie of the year. Started watching the newest season of Dexter. Looks like its gonna be another good one. Though just two episodes in, it’s reminding me a lot of season two with Doakes. Season two spoiler, skip next two sentences…I hope it ends the same as well. I’ve never liked Quinn.

That’s about it. Oh ond a busy week for me. Gotta go to my friends play Thursday or Friday, Cousin’s college b-ball game Saturday, and Tre’s x-mas program Monday. On top of that, its fucking cold! Oh the joy of being me.

Not nearly as frightening as 2 girls 1 cup, but it’s close. Update on last post. Still haven’t heard from her. Moving on…

Everybody’s wondering, “whats up with Jamaal?” Well the same as the last 7 years or so. A few videogames, a few movies, lots of kids. Videogame wise, I’m playing NCAA Football which is alright. NBA2k10 which I fuckin’ love even with the broken passing. Then of course Rock Band 2 always and forever…well until Rock Band 3…which I won’t be getting on launch due to a miscalculation of funds. I’m bummed. Also went back to Mass Effect 2 and doing an Insanity difficulty run. Not much else on that front.

Movie wise, I’ve watched a fuckton since my last review post. I can maybe remember a third of it. I’ll do some quick reviews…

Oldboy - Fuckin’ awesome.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno – Not Kevin Smith’s best, but better than Dogma and miles better than Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Definitely worth watching.
Point Break – The only movie I can stomach to watch Keanu in besides the Bill & Ted movies.
Fright Night – Vampire movie, so I obviously liked it. It’s an 80s flick so there’s obviously some cheese, but it’s awesomely bad smelling cheese.
Kick-Ass – Loved every minute of it. Just a fun movie.
Zombieland - Bill Murray made this movie for me, but even without him it was good fun.
Ponyo - Another Miyazaki animated film and just like all of his movies, I loved it.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs – Meh
Up - Slightly better than Meh
Kiki’s Delivery Service – Hayao Miyazaki again. One of his cuter movies, and I loved every bit of it.
Inglorious Bastards – Not as good as advertised but still fuckin’ great.
The Hangover – Funny, funny, and more funny. And the extras were nearly as funny as the movie itself.
Leon the Professional(Uncut version) – My favorite movie, so obviously highly recommended
Coraline - Complete shit if you read the book.
The Hebrew Hammer – God-awful fun. One of those movies that you know suck, but you can’t stop watching.
Afro Samurai Resurrection – Not as good as the first, but worth a watch…I guess
Anastasia – Tay says, “Meh”
Land Before Time – Loved it all over again
Ong Bak 2 – Fun ass-kickery but a shit stain of an ending
Let The Right One In – One of my favorite Vampire movies.
I think that’s plenty.

As for the kids. They’re good. Tre is a little mouthy to my mom sometimes. It has cost him about 3 weeks of games this month. Tay is either the sweetest thing in the world or hell on wheels. Oogie is too cute for his own good. Stubborn as all hell. And with that said, I am done. Even I was bored writing this post, so you the reader must be damn near comatose. Until next time…fuck you.

Oh yeah…Go Chiefs!

Long time no post…again. Hopefully I can get back to regular postings…now that the adoption is final! Woohoo! Now we’re officially and legally responsible for 3 munchkins for the next 16 years. Fun, fun. It’s a shame it ever came to this but as my subject line suggests. “You can’t choose your family.”

I haven’t heard from my sister in over a month. What that suggests to me, is she’s not doing the things that needs to be done. Which is a shame. Because come January she’s likely to lose the one kid she still had a chance to get. Maybe it’s for the best. I mean she’s essentially choosing drugs and alcohol over her own kids. Which I just don’t get how anybody can do that. I know it’s hard to quit using, but when it comes to your own kids it’s time to suck it up for their sake. How do you tell the kids that they can’t see their mom because she’d rather get fucked up than see them? How do you tell them that their mom would rather go get drunk than be a part of their lives? It’s a lose-lose for all involved. It boggles the mind how one can be so selfish. Again, I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do. I’m saying it should be an easy and obvious choice to make. Kids come first…always.

As for me. I’m slowly losing my best friend. I’m not much of a believer in God, but if he came to me for whatever reason, and told me I can only have one friend for the rest of my life it would be an easy answer…in the past. My sister. I wouldn’t have hesitated on the answer. Now, not so much. I hope one day we can be that again, but I will not dwell on it. Sometimes you just gotta move on without looking back. I hope she does the right thing someday. And on that day I will be there with open arms. Until then, C’est la vie!

Ooooo, I am for real. Today, I got a call that Ms. Rowling’s lawyers called my IP to tell them I was torrenting her books…and I’m sorry. But she had given me no choice. With my disability, it was the only way I could read them. So really it’s her fault for being so uptight about the ereader format. Would I have done it otherwise…nope. I still bought her books, but only so my non-disabled friends could read them. They’re too big for my retarded hands. So anyway, I’m sorry you can’t see the advantages of the ereader format. And I’m sorry you don’t see how much money you’re losing, and how many fans you will never have because of it. Until you do see that, people will continue to pirate your books because they have no other choice. I shall comply, because I don’t need anymore problems in my life. I’m just sayin’, don’t be so uptight Ms. Rowling, give in to the ereader, and I’ll be the first to purchase a copy of all seven books.

Did you miss me? Yeah didn’t think so. Of course I don’t care. I’m here for me and me only. So F.Y.M.F.!* Moving on.

Still reading, though it’s been slow going since finishing the greatness that is the Harry Potter series. The last two books was pure awesome. Deathly Hallows actually had me crying like the sensitive man that I am. I actually had to stop reading for a minute to compose myself. After I finished the series I meandered through a couple books. I started 3 different books before settling on Interview With a Vampire by Anne Rice. I can’t even remember which 3 books they were. The only one I remember is “Stuff White People Like” by Christian Lander. Pretty funny stuff from what I read, though I’m not sure if it was the white side of me laughing with me, or the black side laughing at me lol. What were the other 2 books?….hmmm. After a quick look at my Kindle the other 2 books were Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” and The Collected Stories of H. P. Lovecraft: Volume One. Neither grabbed me right away. So I ended up going with what I know, and that’s vampire’s.

Anybody that knows me knows I’m a vampire freak. Love the mythology behind them. With that said, I think I’ve only read one vampire book. That being the incredible I Am Legend by Richard Matheson. Awesome fuckin’ book. Anyway, so I decided on Interview With a Vampire as I had some familiarity with it having seen the movie. It was slow going. Not really a fan of Anne Rice’s writing style. Took about half the book before I could really get into it. After the rough start I really enjoyed it. Even better I didn’t see Tom Cruise as Louis, nor did I see Brad Pitt as Lestat as I read it. I give it a hearty thumbs up. Not sure what I’ll read next.

I’m thinking either the next book in the Vampire Chronicles series or try to read the Dark Tower Series again. Not sure.

In other news, Beatles: Rock Band is pretty glorious and I’m not really a fan. The 3 part harmonies are a stroke of genius as far as plastic instrument games. Also moderately enjoying Guitar Hero 5. Great setlist and the vocals don’t completely suck. My main plastic instrument playing partner is not a fan of GH5 however. Kinda harshes my mellow man.

In other, other news. Still not watching much. Started watching the second season of Chuck finally. Still a fun ass show. Nothing great, but just fun. Also can’t wait for the season finale of True Blood. Shit gonna get craaaazy. Watched the Weeds finale and meh. Still better than the trainwreck that was Season 2.

And finally in other, other, other news. Keanu Reeves is a horrible fuckin’ actor. Not horrible like, “man he’s not very good”. But horrible like, “What the fuck is he doing!? And, “What fuckin’ emotion is he trying to do there?” And, “Is he trying to hold in a fart?” I’m just saying…he sucks.

That is all.

*Obscure reference from the movie Fear of a Black Hat.

It’s been awhile eh? Well you can thank J.K. Rowling and my Kindle. I am now on the 5th Harry Potter book. Yeah, I know. It’s pretty fuckin’ glorious. My favorite thus far is probably The Prisoner of Azkaban with Goblet of Fire running a very close second. That one almost brought a tear to my eye. Then I manned the fuck up and imagined how great it would be to punch a unicorn in the face. I’m a man! That’s all I’ve really done at this point…not punch a unicorn, like midgets, they’re not real. But reading is all I’ve done. I watch the occasional movie when I have company. Ditto that on the gaming. But when I’m alone, I do my damndest to get lost in a book. After I finish the Harry Potter series I’m gonna read The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Then it’s a toss up. I’ll probably just pick some book at random. I love my Kindle!

Movie wise, I’ve watched Hancock, Infernal Affairs, Van Wilder and Murder in the First. Quick reviews…

Hancock – A tale of two movies. They tried to cram two movies into one and it didn’t work out too well. First half, pretty damn good. Second half was a mess. Super cheesy ending. I would’ve left the whole super-powered (ex)wife for the sequel. Could’ve better, could have been worse. Rental at best. I give it a C.

Infernal Affairs – One of my favorite movies. Departed with Leonardo Dicaprio is based on this movie. Not much needs be said. One of my favorite movies so it must be good. Doesn’t hurt that it stars my two favorite Asian actors in Andy Lau and Tony Leung. Watch it bitches. Unless of course you’re one of those douschebags that don’t be likin’ them there foreign movies with their ching chang chong shit. To that I say fuck you.

Van Wilder – Has hands down the most revolting scene in cinematic history and it is glorious. Good, mindless, “teen” comedy. In the same vein of movies such as American Pie.

Murder in the First – Haven’t actually finished it. But who knows when I’ll blog again. What I’ve seen is pretty good. I really like Kevin Bacon and Gary Oldman. Couple of fine actors. Loosely based on a true story…very loosely according to wiki. Worth a viewing, not so much a purchase.

Gaming wise, I’m mostly playing Halo 3 and Rock Band 2. I did just get NCAA Football and it’s pretty glorious. Lot of little glitches in the gameplay. Seems kinda rushed, but I’m still enjoying it a lot.

TV Wise I’ve been slacking. Watching True Blood. Not great, but just bad enough and funny to keep watching and still better than that Twilight shit. Also watching Weeds. Better than last season but that’s not saying much.

That’s it for me. Next time I’ll have pictures and whatnot.

That is all.

Well I finished up the fourth book(Choke Point by Jay MacLarty) in the Simon Leonidovich series and I’m pretty satisfied with how it ended. I was a little put off early when suddenly, without explanation, Simon was no longer involved with his love interest from the previous book. But only temporarily as I soon forgot all about her and focused on the inevitable relationship between him and Kara. It just made sense. Again, well written with lots of intrigue and impossible to get out of situations. Unless of course you are Houdini Leonidovich, aka Simple Simon. Half the fun with these books is seeing just how he’s gonna escape the predicaments he’s in. And he’s in a shit ton of them. I hope there’s a 5th book in the series eventually.

Also started reading the first Harry Potter book…no thanks to that cunt J.K. Rowling. Apparently you can’t get the Harry Potter books on the Kindle(or any e-reader) because she wants kids to have the feeling of actually holding and reading her book. Of course that screws people like me with fucked up hands. Those books are fricken ginormous. If they ever are released on the Kindle I won’t hesitate to buy them, but until then, fuck her. I’ve got all seven of her books on my Kindle thanks to a kind sir and an easy to download torrent.

Anyway, pretty good thus far. I was a tad skeptical as I believe this was her first book so I thought it’d be a little slow going. Also having seen the movie a few times made me a little apprehensive as well. Thus far though, I’m really enjoying it. I’m only 6 chapters in but so far I think it’s better than the movie. Of course that’s pretty much par for the course as far as book to movie adaptations go.

I may have mentioned it before but I love my Kindle 2. Reading is actually fun again. Also found out, it’s a pretty good device for reading Manga thanks to a handy tool called Mangle. I added my own screensavers as well. Mostly authors I really like. Some randomness as well. I’ll post them now. I have a sweet Alan Moore one as well, but it’s currently M.I.A. I’ll post it when I find it

I just had a dream/nightmare where an ex-lady friend of mine sent me a 4 page letter, front-to-back, on why we can’t be together. All valid points lol. I read 3 and a half pages before I woke up. Talk about depressing shit. And it’s not like we just broke up. I haven’t dated in 16 years or more. What the hell is my brain trying to say after all this time. That I’m unfuckin’ datable? I can actually partly agree with that. I still act like a teenager 90% of the time. I don’t know. This woman still gets to me after all this time. Sometimes I feel like the Creedence song “I Put a Spell On You” is playing in the background whenever I think about her. *cue Twilight Zone music*

And I’m out.

Sort of. I got bored so I got together a recent picture of each of the “children who shall not be named”. They’ve been doctored to protect their innocence. Unfortunately that means only those closest to them can see how truly cute they are. Haha suckers! Anyway here they are as well as a few others including me!