Did you miss me? Yeah didn’t think so. Of course I don’t care. I’m here for me and me only. So F.Y.M.F.!* Moving on.

Still reading, though it’s been slow going since finishing the greatness that is the Harry Potter series. The last two books was pure awesome. Deathly Hallows actually had me crying like the sensitive man that I am. I actually had to stop reading for a minute to compose myself. After I finished the series I meandered through a couple books. I started 3 different books before settling on Interview With a Vampire by Anne Rice. I can’t even remember which 3 books they were. The only one I remember is “Stuff White People Like” by Christian Lander. Pretty funny stuff from what I read, though I’m not sure if it was the white side of me laughing with me, or the black side laughing at me lol. What were the other 2 books?….hmmm. After a quick look at my Kindle the other 2 books were Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” and The Collected Stories of H. P. Lovecraft: Volume One. Neither grabbed me right away. So I ended up going with what I know, and that’s vampire’s.

Anybody that knows me knows I’m a vampire freak. Love the mythology behind them. With that said, I think I’ve only read one vampire book. That being the incredible I Am Legend by Richard Matheson. Awesome fuckin’ book. Anyway, so I decided on Interview With a Vampire as I had some familiarity with it having seen the movie. It was slow going. Not really a fan of Anne Rice’s writing style. Took about half the book before I could really get into it. After the rough start I really enjoyed it. Even better I didn’t see Tom Cruise as Louis, nor did I see Brad Pitt as Lestat as I read it. I give it a hearty thumbs up. Not sure what I’ll read next.

I’m thinking either the next book in the Vampire Chronicles series or try to read the Dark Tower Series again. Not sure.

In other news, Beatles: Rock Band is pretty glorious and I’m not really a fan. The 3 part harmonies are a stroke of genius as far as plastic instrument games. Also moderately enjoying Guitar Hero 5. Great setlist and the vocals don’t completely suck. My main plastic instrument playing partner is not a fan of GH5 however. Kinda harshes my mellow man.

In other, other news. Still not watching much. Started watching the second season of Chuck finally. Still a fun ass show. Nothing great, but just fun. Also can’t wait for the season finale of True Blood. Shit gonna get craaaazy. Watched the Weeds finale and meh. Still better than the trainwreck that was Season 2.

And finally in other, other, other news. Keanu Reeves is a horrible fuckin’ actor. Not horrible like, “man he’s not very good”. But horrible like, “What the fuck is he doing!? And, “What fuckin’ emotion is he trying to do there?” And, “Is he trying to hold in a fart?” I’m just saying…he sucks.

That is all.

*Obscure reference from the movie Fear of a Black Hat.

It’s been awhile eh? Well you can thank J.K. Rowling and my Kindle. I am now on the 5th Harry Potter book. Yeah, I know. It’s pretty fuckin’ glorious. My favorite thus far is probably The Prisoner of Azkaban with Goblet of Fire running a very close second. That one almost brought a tear to my eye. Then I manned the fuck up and imagined how great it would be to punch a unicorn in the face. I’m a man! That’s all I’ve really done at this point…not punch a unicorn, like midgets, they’re not real. But reading is all I’ve done. I watch the occasional movie when I have company. Ditto that on the gaming. But when I’m alone, I do my damndest to get lost in a book. After I finish the Harry Potter series I’m gonna read The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Then it’s a toss up. I’ll probably just pick some book at random. I love my Kindle!

Movie wise, I’ve watched Hancock, Infernal Affairs, Van Wilder and Murder in the First. Quick reviews…

Hancock – A tale of two movies. They tried to cram two movies into one and it didn’t work out too well. First half, pretty damn good. Second half was a mess. Super cheesy ending. I would’ve left the whole super-powered (ex)wife for the sequel. Could’ve better, could have been worse. Rental at best. I give it a C.

Infernal Affairs – One of my favorite movies. Departed with Leonardo Dicaprio is based on this movie. Not much needs be said. One of my favorite movies so it must be good. Doesn’t hurt that it stars my two favorite Asian actors in Andy Lau and Tony Leung. Watch it bitches. Unless of course you’re one of those douschebags that don’t be likin’ them there foreign movies with their ching chang chong shit. To that I say fuck you.

Van Wilder – Has hands down the most revolting scene in cinematic history and it is glorious. Good, mindless, “teen” comedy. In the same vein of movies such as American Pie.

Murder in the First – Haven’t actually finished it. But who knows when I’ll blog again. What I’ve seen is pretty good. I really like Kevin Bacon and Gary Oldman. Couple of fine actors. Loosely based on a true story…very loosely according to wiki. Worth a viewing, not so much a purchase.

Gaming wise, I’m mostly playing Halo 3 and Rock Band 2. I did just get NCAA Football and it’s pretty glorious. Lot of little glitches in the gameplay. Seems kinda rushed, but I’m still enjoying it a lot.

TV Wise I’ve been slacking. Watching True Blood. Not great, but just bad enough and funny to keep watching and still better than that Twilight shit. Also watching Weeds. Better than last season but that’s not saying much.

That’s it for me. Next time I’ll have pictures and whatnot.

That is all.

Well I finished up the fourth book(Choke Point by Jay MacLarty) in the Simon Leonidovich series and I’m pretty satisfied with how it ended. I was a little put off early when suddenly, without explanation, Simon was no longer involved with his love interest from the previous book. But only temporarily as I soon forgot all about her and focused on the inevitable relationship between him and Kara. It just made sense. Again, well written with lots of intrigue and impossible to get out of situations. Unless of course you are Houdini Leonidovich, aka Simple Simon. Half the fun with these books is seeing just how he’s gonna escape the predicaments he’s in. And he’s in a shit ton of them. I hope there’s a 5th book in the series eventually.

Also started reading the first Harry Potter book…no thanks to that cunt J.K. Rowling. Apparently you can’t get the Harry Potter books on the Kindle(or any e-reader) because she wants kids to have the feeling of actually holding and reading her book. Of course that screws people like me with fucked up hands. Those books are fricken ginormous. If they ever are released on the Kindle I won’t hesitate to buy them, but until then, fuck her. I’ve got all seven of her books on my Kindle thanks to a kind sir and an easy to download torrent.

Anyway, pretty good thus far. I was a tad skeptical as I believe this was her first book so I thought it’d be a little slow going. Also having seen the movie a few times made me a little apprehensive as well. Thus far though, I’m really enjoying it. I’m only 6 chapters in but so far I think it’s better than the movie. Of course that’s pretty much par for the course as far as book to movie adaptations go.

I may have mentioned it before but I love my Kindle 2. Reading is actually fun again. Also found out, it’s a pretty good device for reading Manga thanks to a handy tool called Mangle. I added my own screensavers as well. Mostly authors I really like. Some randomness as well. I’ll post them now. I have a sweet Alan Moore one as well, but it’s currently M.I.A. I’ll post it when I find it

I’ve had this book for ages but for whatever reason, never got around to reading it, despite loving the first 2 books in the Leonidovich series. Reading is almost a chore for me with my hands being all retarded thanks to a nasty case of broken neck.

Anyway, I recently bought the Amazon Kindle and the first book I bought was Live Wire despite already owning the hard copy. Needless to say, I finished it in two sittings. For one, the book was really good, and two the Kindle fuckin’ rocks.

The return of Retnuh was a nice surprise if not a bit disappointing compared to his appearance in Bagman, which was great. My only complaint was like the last 4 to 6 pages. Just seemed implausible. Wrapped up too nicely. I’m still curious why Hollywood hasn’t picked up on this series. If done right, it could be phenomenal, as all the characters are very well-rounded and I wanna see Retnuh on the big screen dammit! Can’t wait to pick up the next book in the series…on Kindle. I’ll probably pick up the hard copy as well, just because I own the first 3.

Also a quick thanks to Amazon for helping me rediscover my love for reading. The Kindle is amazing.

Now I need to finish up Civil War before Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 comes out.

Current Mood: Tired

Overnight – An inside look at the meteoric rise of a douchebag and how said man’s douchebaggery can make you a pariah in Hollywood. It’s good to have faith in yourself and your skills/talent, but this guy takes it to epic leves of faith. Like he’s the second coming of everything great ever. Who is this mighty God of film AND music you ask? The writer/director of Boondock Saints, Troy Duffy. Never heard of him? Not a big surprise since he’s been pretty much blackballed. Good look at his attempt at getting his film and his music career going and how he fucked up a great thing. Worth a looksee.

Hang Em High(1968) – Clint Eastwood western…nuff said…only it isn’t cuz the ending fucking sucked. Nothing resolved at all. It was decent to good but I can’t recommend it.

Hand of Death(1975) – Chop socky flick that was way too over-choreographed and looked it. With that said, it was still enjoyable. Jackie Chan was in this in a supporting role before he was Jackie Chan. He was still being billed as Chan Yuan Lung at this point. No zany antics, just straight up kick-assery…overly choreographed kick assery. If you’re into older chop socky flicks, check it out. Otherwise pass.

30 Days of Night – My first Blu-Ray movie watched on my new TV(52″ Samsung Ultra Thin LCD) It was pretty glorious. Good movie, and Josh Hartnett wasn’t completely fuckin’ horrible. Only actor I dislike more than him is Keanu Reeves. Of course I may be biased as it concerns the movie, as I’m a huge fan of pretty much anything vampire related…except Queen of the Damned. God was that a pile of shit or what? Also, Fuck Twilight and it’s bastard ass vamps. Anyway, brilliant concept. Vampires descend on a small town in Alaska during the annual 30 days of night and lay waste to the town and it inhabitants. Really enjoyed the end as well. Gonna read the comics it’s based on this week.

Current Mood: Crazy

Rocknrolla – Part 1 of a planned trilogy by Guy Ritchie. The writer director of the awesome Snatch and Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels. If you haven’t seen them, go out of your way to see ‘em…now…seriously, I’ll wait………..

Ok, now that that’s out of the way Rocknrolla is very similar…only not as good or funny. It was good enough to keep you watching but I’m not sure if that’s because I was giving it the benefit of the doubt due to his(Guy) past success or if the movie was actually good. I do know it didn’t get really interesting until the last 30-45 minutes. Which coincidentally featured by far the most interesting character.

I will also say that I am looking forward to it’s subsequent sequels…if they ever get made.

Dragon Inn – Crappy McCrap crap. Starring Donnie Yen and some other people I have zero interest in looking up. I did not finish it. Storyy was uninteresting, fight scenes were even worse with horrible editing. I don’t mind wire-fu, but this is the movie you would point to if you wanted to show how much it fuckin’ sucks. Pass!

Current Mood: Bored

Watched a couple of movies…shocking I know. Two completely different movies at that. The first being a classic movie from 1962. That movie being…

The Manchurian Candidate – Starring Laurence Harvey, Frank Sinatra, and Angela Lansbury. The gist of the story is a former Korean War POW(Raymond Shaw) is brainwashed by Communists into becoming an assassin. Decent acting by all, especially Laurence Harvey as the lead character. Other soldiers under the command of Shaw during the war begin experiencing nightmare’s that reveal the brainwashing sessions which eventually lead Maj. Bennett Marco(Sinatra) to Shaw. It all culminates into a crushing ending which leaves you feeling a little cold inside. A definite rental that I may eventually pick up for my collection.

The second movie is the Pineapple Express. Weed humor galore and every fuckin’ bit of it was hilarious. The movie was so damn quotable. A lot of seriously funny laugh out loud moments. Watched it with three friends and there was rarely a moment where we weren’t laughing. I’ll definitely be picking this one up.

Current Mood: Chill

…nothing too great.

Finally finished up Noir(anime) and it gets a resounding meh. It wasn’t bad by any means, but I never thought to myself…”Wow I can’t wait to see what happens next.” or any thing like that. It was just a lot of blah. Just interesting enough to keep you watching but not good enough to consider purchasing. If you’re a big anime fan, by all means check it out. If not, then it’s probably a pass.

Spoiler…
Kirika should have died

Igby Goes Down – Starring Kieran Culkin. The brother of the more famous yet less talented MaCauley Culkin of Home Alone fame. Sporting an all-star cast with the likes of Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Susan Sarandon, Claire Daines(always had a thing for her) Amanda Peet, and Ryan Phillipe. Phillipe is ass, but he wasn’t offensive here as the holier-than-thou, high society, douchebag brother. I love anything Goldblum does. I’m a fan of quirkiness. All in all a decent movie. About a young man trying to find his way amongst a dysfunctional family who he all but hates. Worth a rent.

Human Traffic – Ass piled upon ass. It tried to be Trainspotting(a brilliant awesome movie that you need to see if you haven’t)…it failed. It tried to be clever…it failed. It tried not to suck…I assume…it failed. Nothing redeeming about the movie whatsoever. Near the bottom of my shitlist of films. Just pure unadulterated ass. Pass! Unless you are into self-inflicted torture that is.

Project A 2 – Jackie Chan doing what Jackie Chan does best. Fun movie, nothing overly great. Worth a rental, I’ll likely buy eventually.

Bodyguard from Beijing – Jet Li doing what Jet Li does best. Really enjoyed this one. Some good action in this one. I’ll definitely be buying.

Current Mood: Mischievous & Surprised

…or just a visual representation showing that Dr. Manhattan was becoming detached from humanity. Things that we freak over, have zero meaning to him as he’s no longer with us. If you’re confused by the opening of my post then you suck for not reading The Watchmen. My opening statement is based on the movie however. I can’t believe how many people are so shallow/stupid/short-sighted/small-minded/etc. that something like a blue penis makes a movie unwatchable. He no longer felt anything for the human race. Blue penis…get over it and grow the fuck up. I’m done preaching now…so on to happy happy fun time review movie time!

Watchmen(Imax) – Better than I expected and Imax is still amazing. My biggest complaint…the horrible music choices throughout the movie. The main two being the hallelujah song during the sex scene between Nite Owl and Silk Spectre and the most out of place piece of music imo was easily Jimi’s “All Along the Watchtower”. Just came out of nowhere and didn’t fit the scene at all. What works in print does not always translate well to screen.

Overall the changes didn’t bother me too much. I think it helped that I went into it knowing it could never meet my expectations so I just enjoyed it for what it was. One other minor complaint was the fact that apparently they were all expertly trained ninjas with super strength but I could let that go too. It made the fight scenes pretty enjoyable.

Good points. They could not have picked a better person to play Rorschach. That was pretty much the greatest casting EVER. Ozymandias, Dr. Manhattan, and The Comedian were great as well. Silk Spectre was ass. All in all, I can’t wait for the DVD. If I were to rank the current crop of comic-book movies it’d go…

1. The Dark Knight
2. Iron Man
3. Watchmen
4. Spiderman 2
5. Batman Begins

Current Mood: Indifferent

…here’s some more half-assed reviews…

Live Free or Die Hard – Mindless, over-indulgent, small on story big on over-the-top action. Just a fun, turn your mind off action flick. Is it better than Die Hard? No, but really. What action movie is, well besides Commando. Rent before you buy.

Home Movies Season 2 – Totally overlooked piece of genius. The conversation’s between Brendan and coach McGuirk are some of the funniest moments of any show ever. Ok, maybe not ever, but they are damn funny. Hell anytime Brendan starts rambling and justifying anything it’s comic gold. The episodes with him in therapy with his dad and his dad’s fiancee are just too fuckin’ funny. With that said, it’s still an acquired taste for some. The animation throws people off right away as it’s very rough, but I think it adds to the overall charm of the show. I say definitely check it out, but don’t blame me if you hate it. It just means you suck. Here’s some life lessons from the venerable Coach McGuirk…

Coach McGuirk: Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, throw up quicker.

Brendon: Coach, do you think I’m stupid?
Coach McGuirk: Of course you’re stupid, Brendon, all kids are stupid.

Coach McGuirk: There’s a tornado coming. So I’m gonna stay down here with the baby, you guys go upstairs and play.
Melissa Robbins: Shouldn’t we stay down here with you?
Coach McGuirk: No, it’s not safe for everybody to be in the same place during a tornado, Melissa.
Melissa Robbins: But I thought you’re supposed to go together.
Coach McGuirk: No! The rule is, Melissa, you separate.
Melissa Robbins: Are you sure?
Coach McGuirk: Yeah. If you get sucked into the funnel and everyone’s separated it’s just like a fun ride. But if you’re all in a group, in a cluster, you start banging into each other, then your heads collide and you die.

Coach McGuirk: Melissa, get in there and replace Janeane.
Melissa Robbins: Coach, my arm’s broken, remember?
Coach McGuirk: Your *arm* is protected by a cast. It’s safer than it was before, now get in there.

Coach McGuirk: Life sucks, Brendon. That’s your lesson. Go enjoy it.

Coach McGuirk: Brendon there’s nothing wrong with lying to women. Or the government. Or parents. Or God.

Back to the reviews…well…not really a review. More like a comment.
Hard Boiled – Asia’s Clint Eastwood, Chow Yun Fat blowin shit up. Need more be said?

That is all…for now.