Well I got out the house yesterday. Went and seen the Avengers last night. Needless to say, it was amazing. Perfect blend of action, and comedy. What a comic book movie should be. Joss Whedon should direct every Marvel comic book movie from here on out. The Hulk was fucking awesome, and Robert Downey Jr. can do no wrong. Easily my favorite super-hero movie.

In other news, haven’t heard from the former lady love since the big speech. Not sure how I feel about it. I threw a lot at her in said speech. Only time will tell I guess. Watching Grandma’s Boy now which is probably a bad idea. Reminds me of better times. One of the first movies we watched together. Pretty funny movie if you haven’t seen it.

Gonna call and see what I need to do to get my GED tomorrow. Should be easy enough. Looking to the future I guess…we’ll see.

Until next time, fuck you very much.

Last night I went to a screening for Kevin Smith’s latest movie Red State. I’m gonna say, right up front, from all the reviews I had seen prior. I had very little interest in the film. My main reason for going was to see Kevin Smith. Due to very unfortunate circumstances, I was unable to see him at comic-con a few years back. Things got off to a great start when we arrived at The Midland Theater in Kansas City. Why, you ask. You asked, trust me. The reason being Fred Phelps and his group of gay-bashing brethren were there picketing the movie. The main antagonist of the movie is based on Fred Phelps. It was glorious to see and it only gets better. We go inside, and we have seats maybe five rows back from the stage…awesome.

Kevin Smith then proceeds to come out and introduce his movie and point out that there are some special guests in the audience tonight. Megan Phelps(Fred Phelps grand-daughter) and 14 other WBC members. Smith invited them to review the movie after the screening and they accepted. This however never came to fruition as Smith, who ripped them before the movie started in the only way he can. A verbal assault that had everybody laughin’ their asses off. After the movie ended, Smith once again took to the stage and informed us that the Phelps family had left 15 minutes into the film deeming it “filthy”. But wait, it gets even better. After a few inane questions from the audience, two people(Libby and Josh Phelps) who left the WBC introduced themselves, and giddy as shit Kevin Smith invites them on-stage. From here on out the Q&A has now turned into an interview with these two former members as we get a glimpse into their lives while they lived in the church and how they’ve adjusted to being free from the family. It was just fascinating. Made the whole experience 100x better.

As for the movie, I enjoyed it. It’s far from a horror movie however. More like a thriller, with some humor mixed in extremely well. Michael Parks was fucking incredible as the Fred Phelps-like character. John Goodman almost stole the show with his performance. He really needs to work more. He’s awesome. You never know what’s going to happen and it has some surprising moments. I’d give it a very solid 4 out of 5.

I hope it does well when it’s officially released and I hope the official DVD release has footage from the KC show in the extras. It was easily the best part of the night. Oh and Gates BBQ after the show wasn’t too bad either…mmmmmmh barbecue.

*edit* Here’s some video from said event with the Phelps’

PS: Fuck Phelps and the WBC, gay people rock!
PPS: Line of the night for me was delivered by Kevin Smith when talking about how some people equate all Christians with the WBC and how he has to explain how he’s not one of those Christians. And I quote, “I’m one of those other Christians. The kind that likes to smoke weed and eat ass.”

And I’m out.

I watched this abomination of a movie over the weekend with my nephew. We’re both huge fans of the cartoon. It’s Tre’s favorite. So when we heard about the movie, we both were pretty excited for it. Then I heard M. Night Shyamalamadingdong was attached to direct, and my excitement immediately dropped.

Then I watched a special with Shyamalamadingdong on the making of the movie, and learned some troubling things. Number 1, no Kiyoshi warriors. They’re kind of important to the story, but whatever. Then I noticed he kept pronouncing Aang’s name as “Ong” instead of “Ayng”, and then he explained that that was how the Asian people would really say the name. I’m immediately like, “Fuck that shit!” Who gives a shit how they would say it. Its been pronounced “ayng” for three fucking seasons. That’s the name. What pissed me off most about that was not that the name was changed, it was that he was a hypocritical douchebag. He talks about the Asian people then casts two white people as two of the biggest roles. That being Sokka(pronounced ‘soeka’ now) and Katara. Never mind the entire water tribe looked like Inuit’s in the movie. Apparently we’re not supposed to notice that though.

Thirdly, Prince Zuko’s scar is barely noticeable. Again, kind of a big thing. It’s what makes him noticeable, what makes him unable to hide his shame and dishonor at the hands of his father. Now it’s just a little scratch that a little neosporin can take care of. Speaking of Zuko, his Uncle Iroh(now pronounced ‘eeroe’), Is not a fat jolly wise old man, but seemed more like a personal attendant. I felt no love coming from Iroh like I did in the cartoon. He was by far my favorite character in the show besides Aang.

Zuko’s father is horribly cast. Nothing about him screams Fire Lord. Just so fuckin’ bad. But even worse casting was the casting of Aasif Mandvi as Commander Zhao. Soon as he appeared on screen I thought, “Fuckin really?” I just can’t take him seriously after watching the Daily Show for years. I kept waiting for him to say something outlandish. But alas, he played it straight…just like everybody else.

Which brings me to point four. The complete lack of humor and personality in the movie. What made the show so endearing was the humor despite the herculean task in front of our would be heroes. They always managed to keep a fun positive air around them. In the movie its doom and gloom and the emotion they did try just did not come off good. I felt nothing for any of the character’s. Even when Princess Yue sacrificed herself, I just didn’t care.

The most telling thing about the movie is when my 7 year old nephew said, “The best part of the movie was at the beginning when they were doing the “fire, water, earth, air” thing.” He was harder on the movie than me, and he’s the key demographic. That’s saying something and that something isn’t fuckin’ good.

In closing, fuck you M. Night Shyamalamadingdong. Fuck you, your shitty writing, and your shitty directing. You’re barely a step behind Keanu Reeve’s as far as Hollywood shit is concerned. I bid you good day.

With my oh so exciting life, I haven’t blogged as much as I’d like. So now I’m just bloggin’ to be bloggin’. Prepare for your mind to be blown. Or not, whatever.

Talked to my sister. She’s in some sober house in Missouri. I’m not holding my breath or anything. You know me, expect the worst, then your not disappointed when it happens. She got her 30 day chip a week or so ago. It’s hard to get excited about these things when you’ve been beat down so many times by hope. Fuck hope!

Had the big family Thanksgiving Saturday. Ive been told the kids were good. I didn’t go. Not a fan. I sat home, got caught up on some shows, played a little 360. Just a little me time before the hellions returned home. Best part of Thanksgiving…cherry cheese cake. Oh and thanks for the piece of pumpkin pie Sally!

Haven’t read anything since I finished Salem’s Lot, which I enjoyed a lot. Might have to read some more Stephen King…shut up Allen! Gonna start something today. Not sure what yet. Since my last “what I’ve read” post, Ive only read a couple things. I read the first two books in Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I liked ‘Interview with a Vampire’ better than ‘The Vampire Lestat’, though I really enjoyed reading about Lestat’s past. The rock ‘n’ roll crap was kind of lame though. Also read Elric: The Stealer of Souls. Its like Conan the Barbarian, but Elric is albino, weak, and wields a mystical sword that feeds off the souls of it’s victims making Elric strong like bull. Good stuff. That’s really about it.

I’ve watched Scott Pilgrim vs the World about 10 times in the last couple weeks. So much fun. Easily my favorite movie of the year. Started watching the newest season of Dexter. Looks like its gonna be another good one. Though just two episodes in, it’s reminding me a lot of season two with Doakes. Season two spoiler, skip next two sentences…I hope it ends the same as well. I’ve never liked Quinn.

That’s about it. Oh ond a busy week for me. Gotta go to my friends play Thursday or Friday, Cousin’s college b-ball game Saturday, and Tre’s x-mas program Monday. On top of that, its fucking cold! Oh the joy of being me.

Not nearly as frightening as 2 girls 1 cup, but it’s close. Update on last post. Still haven’t heard from her. Moving on…

Everybody’s wondering, “whats up with Jamaal?” Well the same as the last 7 years or so. A few videogames, a few movies, lots of kids. Videogame wise, I’m playing NCAA Football which is alright. NBA2k10 which I fuckin’ love even with the broken passing. Then of course Rock Band 2 always and forever…well until Rock Band 3…which I won’t be getting on launch due to a miscalculation of funds. I’m bummed. Also went back to Mass Effect 2 and doing an Insanity difficulty run. Not much else on that front.

Movie wise, I’ve watched a fuckton since my last review post. I can maybe remember a third of it. I’ll do some quick reviews…

Oldboy - Fuckin’ awesome.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno – Not Kevin Smith’s best, but better than Dogma and miles better than Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Definitely worth watching.
Point Break – The only movie I can stomach to watch Keanu in besides the Bill & Ted movies.
Fright Night – Vampire movie, so I obviously liked it. It’s an 80s flick so there’s obviously some cheese, but it’s awesomely bad smelling cheese.
Kick-Ass – Loved every minute of it. Just a fun movie.
Zombieland - Bill Murray made this movie for me, but even without him it was good fun.
Ponyo - Another Miyazaki animated film and just like all of his movies, I loved it.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs – Meh
Up - Slightly better than Meh
Kiki’s Delivery Service – Hayao Miyazaki again. One of his cuter movies, and I loved every bit of it.
Inglorious Bastards – Not as good as advertised but still fuckin’ great.
The Hangover – Funny, funny, and more funny. And the extras were nearly as funny as the movie itself.
Leon the Professional(Uncut version) – My favorite movie, so obviously highly recommended
Coraline - Complete shit if you read the book.
The Hebrew Hammer – God-awful fun. One of those movies that you know suck, but you can’t stop watching.
Afro Samurai Resurrection – Not as good as the first, but worth a watch…I guess
Anastasia – Tay says, “Meh”
Land Before Time – Loved it all over again
Ong Bak 2 – Fun ass-kickery but a shit stain of an ending
Let The Right One In – One of my favorite Vampire movies.
I think that’s plenty.

As for the kids. They’re good. Tre is a little mouthy to my mom sometimes. It has cost him about 3 weeks of games this month. Tay is either the sweetest thing in the world or hell on wheels. Oogie is too cute for his own good. Stubborn as all hell. And with that said, I am done. Even I was bored writing this post, so you the reader must be damn near comatose. Until next time…fuck you.

Oh yeah…Go Chiefs!

It’s been awhile eh? Well you can thank J.K. Rowling and my Kindle. I am now on the 5th Harry Potter book. Yeah, I know. It’s pretty fuckin’ glorious. My favorite thus far is probably The Prisoner of Azkaban with Goblet of Fire running a very close second. That one almost brought a tear to my eye. Then I manned the fuck up and imagined how great it would be to punch a unicorn in the face. I’m a man! That’s all I’ve really done at this point…not punch a unicorn, like midgets, they’re not real. But reading is all I’ve done. I watch the occasional movie when I have company. Ditto that on the gaming. But when I’m alone, I do my damndest to get lost in a book. After I finish the Harry Potter series I’m gonna read The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Then it’s a toss up. I’ll probably just pick some book at random. I love my Kindle!

Movie wise, I’ve watched Hancock, Infernal Affairs, Van Wilder and Murder in the First. Quick reviews…

Hancock – A tale of two movies. They tried to cram two movies into one and it didn’t work out too well. First half, pretty damn good. Second half was a mess. Super cheesy ending. I would’ve left the whole super-powered (ex)wife for the sequel. Could’ve better, could have been worse. Rental at best. I give it a C.

Infernal Affairs – One of my favorite movies. Departed with Leonardo Dicaprio is based on this movie. Not much needs be said. One of my favorite movies so it must be good. Doesn’t hurt that it stars my two favorite Asian actors in Andy Lau and Tony Leung. Watch it bitches. Unless of course you’re one of those douschebags that don’t be likin’ them there foreign movies with their ching chang chong shit. To that I say fuck you.

Van Wilder – Has hands down the most revolting scene in cinematic history and it is glorious. Good, mindless, “teen” comedy. In the same vein of movies such as American Pie.

Murder in the First – Haven’t actually finished it. But who knows when I’ll blog again. What I’ve seen is pretty good. I really like Kevin Bacon and Gary Oldman. Couple of fine actors. Loosely based on a true story…very loosely according to wiki. Worth a viewing, not so much a purchase.

Gaming wise, I’m mostly playing Halo 3 and Rock Band 2. I did just get NCAA Football and it’s pretty glorious. Lot of little glitches in the gameplay. Seems kinda rushed, but I’m still enjoying it a lot.

TV Wise I’ve been slacking. Watching True Blood. Not great, but just bad enough and funny to keep watching and still better than that Twilight shit. Also watching Weeds. Better than last season but that’s not saying much.

That’s it for me. Next time I’ll have pictures and whatnot.

That is all.

Fuckin’ why!? No seriously, will someone fuckin’ tell me why Keanu fuckin’ Reeves is hell bent on sucking the life out of me. He’s the most unfathomable movie “star” in the history of fuckin’ ever! Hands down, the worst “big time” actor, again, in the history of fuckin’ ever. Now he’s going to play one of the coolest characters in arguably one of the greatest anime’s ever.

Who are they going to get to play Vicious? Bill S. Preston Esquire? I know. Katie Holmes can be Faye, Paris Hilton as Julia, and that annoying screaming bitch from War of the Worlds for Ed. Or even better, how ’bout Vin fuckin’ Diesel as Jet. Oh wait, we forgot to “blackify” it and inexplicably change one of the character’s to someone with a darker complexion. Cuz you know, black people are cool. You didn’t know? Well we are. What’s Cedric the Entertainer up to? Maybe he’s available for the role as Vicious. While we’re at, lets just go ahead and make Ein a fuckin’ CGI monkey.

Serenity now!

I fuckin’ hate Hollywood.

For those not in the know. Keanu Reeves will be playing Spike Spiegel in the live-action Cowboy Bebop…and it will suck big, hairy, sweaty balls.

Overnight – An inside look at the meteoric rise of a douchebag and how said man’s douchebaggery can make you a pariah in Hollywood. It’s good to have faith in yourself and your skills/talent, but this guy takes it to epic leves of faith. Like he’s the second coming of everything great ever. Who is this mighty God of film AND music you ask? The writer/director of Boondock Saints, Troy Duffy. Never heard of him? Not a big surprise since he’s been pretty much blackballed. Good look at his attempt at getting his film and his music career going and how he fucked up a great thing. Worth a looksee.

Hang Em High(1968) – Clint Eastwood western…nuff said…only it isn’t cuz the ending fucking sucked. Nothing resolved at all. It was decent to good but I can’t recommend it.

Hand of Death(1975) – Chop socky flick that was way too over-choreographed and looked it. With that said, it was still enjoyable. Jackie Chan was in this in a supporting role before he was Jackie Chan. He was still being billed as Chan Yuan Lung at this point. No zany antics, just straight up kick-assery…overly choreographed kick assery. If you’re into older chop socky flicks, check it out. Otherwise pass.

30 Days of Night – My first Blu-Ray movie watched on my new TV(52″ Samsung Ultra Thin LCD) It was pretty glorious. Good movie, and Josh Hartnett wasn’t completely fuckin’ horrible. Only actor I dislike more than him is Keanu Reeves. Of course I may be biased as it concerns the movie, as I’m a huge fan of pretty much anything vampire related…except Queen of the Damned. God was that a pile of shit or what? Also, Fuck Twilight and it’s bastard ass vamps. Anyway, brilliant concept. Vampires descend on a small town in Alaska during the annual 30 days of night and lay waste to the town and it inhabitants. Really enjoyed the end as well. Gonna read the comics it’s based on this week.

Rocknrolla – Part 1 of a planned trilogy by Guy Ritchie. The writer director of the awesome Snatch and Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels. If you haven’t seen them, go out of your way to see ‘em…now…seriously, I’ll wait………..

Ok, now that that’s out of the way Rocknrolla is very similar…only not as good or funny. It was good enough to keep you watching but I’m not sure if that’s because I was giving it the benefit of the doubt due to his(Guy) past success or if the movie was actually good. I do know it didn’t get really interesting until the last 30-45 minutes. Which coincidentally featured by far the most interesting character.

I will also say that I am looking forward to it’s subsequent sequels…if they ever get made.

Dragon Inn – Crappy McCrap crap. Starring Donnie Yen and some other people I have zero interest in looking up. I did not finish it. Storyy was uninteresting, fight scenes were even worse with horrible editing. I don’t mind wire-fu, but this is the movie you would point to if you wanted to show how much it fuckin’ sucks. Pass!

Watched a couple of movies…shocking I know. Two completely different movies at that. The first being a classic movie from 1962. That movie being…

The Manchurian Candidate – Starring Laurence Harvey, Frank Sinatra, and Angela Lansbury. The gist of the story is a former Korean War POW(Raymond Shaw) is brainwashed by Communists into becoming an assassin. Decent acting by all, especially Laurence Harvey as the lead character. Other soldiers under the command of Shaw during the war begin experiencing nightmare’s that reveal the brainwashing sessions which eventually lead Maj. Bennett Marco(Sinatra) to Shaw. It all culminates into a crushing ending which leaves you feeling a little cold inside. A definite rental that I may eventually pick up for my collection.

The second movie is the Pineapple Express. Weed humor galore and every fuckin’ bit of it was hilarious. The movie was so damn quotable. A lot of seriously funny laugh out loud moments. Watched it with three friends and there was rarely a moment where we weren’t laughing. I’ll definitely be picking this one up.