Well, had the big family x-mas yesterday and unfortunately I was in attendance. Despite my vow to never attend one of these shindigs again, I was guilted into going by my gramps. He’s good, he’s very good. As per usual, I avoided everyone and everyone avoided me. I’m not complaining, I prefer it this way. I’m just not a big conversationalist. Especially not with the extended fam.

Though it could have been much worse. Thanks to Rock Band 3 and Douglas Adams it was an ok time. We played a bunch of rock band. Couldn’t convince anyone to sing…pussies. So I did all the singing. When we took our first break, I slapped on my ipod, cranked it up and started reading “So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish.” by Douglas Adams on my Kindle. Really liking it. Then we got our Rock Band on again which was followed by the opening of the presents which I also avoided by slappin’ on the trusty old ipod and playing some Angry Birds on my phone. Mission accomplished.

Now to figure out a way to avoid next year. Dang grandpa and his power of persuasion/guilt. Aw well, I’d do anything for him so I’m sure I’ll be back next year. As long as I have my ipod and kindle, I’ll survive

That is all…wait no it isn’t…

What the fuck Magic!? Hedo and Arenas? Are you trying to destroy the team? All I gotta say is Jameer better start. Arenas can fuck off to the bench, and Turk can just fuck off. God I hate this trade…FUCK!

With my oh so exciting life, I haven’t blogged as much as I’d like. So now I’m just bloggin’ to be bloggin’. Prepare for your mind to be blown. Or not, whatever.

Talked to my sister. She’s in some sober house in Missouri. I’m not holding my breath or anything. You know me, expect the worst, then your not disappointed when it happens. She got her 30 day chip a week or so ago. It’s hard to get excited about these things when you’ve been beat down so many times by hope. Fuck hope!

Had the big family Thanksgiving Saturday. Ive been told the kids were good. I didn’t go. Not a fan. I sat home, got caught up on some shows, played a little 360. Just a little me time before the hellions returned home. Best part of Thanksgiving…cherry cheese cake. Oh and thanks for the piece of pumpkin pie Sally!

Haven’t read anything since I finished Salem’s Lot, which I enjoyed a lot. Might have to read some more Stephen King…shut up Allen! Gonna start something today. Not sure what yet. Since my last “what I’ve read” post, Ive only read a couple things. I read the first two books in Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I liked ‘Interview with a Vampire’ better than ‘The Vampire Lestat’, though I really enjoyed reading about Lestat’s past. The rock ‘n’ roll crap was kind of lame though. Also read Elric: The Stealer of Souls. Its like Conan the Barbarian, but Elric is albino, weak, and wields a mystical sword that feeds off the souls of it’s victims making Elric strong like bull. Good stuff. That’s really about it.

I’ve watched Scott Pilgrim vs the World about 10 times in the last couple weeks. So much fun. Easily my favorite movie of the year. Started watching the newest season of Dexter. Looks like its gonna be another good one. Though just two episodes in, it’s reminding me a lot of season two with Doakes. Season two spoiler, skip next two sentences…I hope it ends the same as well. I’ve never liked Quinn.

That’s about it. Oh ond a busy week for me. Gotta go to my friends play Thursday or Friday, Cousin’s college b-ball game Saturday, and Tre’s x-mas program Monday. On top of that, its fucking cold! Oh the joy of being me.

Ooooo, I am for real. Today, I got a call that Ms. Rowling’s lawyers called my IP to tell them I was torrenting her books…and I’m sorry. But she had given me no choice. With my disability, it was the only way I could read them. So really it’s her fault for being so uptight about the ereader format. Would I have done it otherwise…nope. I still bought her books, but only so my non-disabled friends could read them. They’re too big for my retarded hands. So anyway, I’m sorry you can’t see the advantages of the ereader format. And I’m sorry you don’t see how much money you’re losing, and how many fans you will never have because of it. Until you do see that, people will continue to pirate your books because they have no other choice. I shall comply, because I don’t need anymore problems in my life. I’m just sayin’, don’t be so uptight Ms. Rowling, give in to the ereader, and I’ll be the first to purchase a copy of all seven books.

Did you miss me? Yeah didn’t think so. Of course I don’t care. I’m here for me and me only. So F.Y.M.F.!* Moving on.

Still reading, though it’s been slow going since finishing the greatness that is the Harry Potter series. The last two books was pure awesome. Deathly Hallows actually had me crying like the sensitive man that I am. I actually had to stop reading for a minute to compose myself. After I finished the series I meandered through a couple books. I started 3 different books before settling on Interview With a Vampire by Anne Rice. I can’t even remember which 3 books they were. The only one I remember is “Stuff White People Like” by Christian Lander. Pretty funny stuff from what I read, though I’m not sure if it was the white side of me laughing with me, or the black side laughing at me lol. What were the other 2 books?….hmmm. After a quick look at my Kindle the other 2 books were Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” and The Collected Stories of H. P. Lovecraft: Volume One. Neither grabbed me right away. So I ended up going with what I know, and that’s vampire’s.

Anybody that knows me knows I’m a vampire freak. Love the mythology behind them. With that said, I think I’ve only read one vampire book. That being the incredible I Am Legend by Richard Matheson. Awesome fuckin’ book. Anyway, so I decided on Interview With a Vampire as I had some familiarity with it having seen the movie. It was slow going. Not really a fan of Anne Rice’s writing style. Took about half the book before I could really get into it. After the rough start I really enjoyed it. Even better I didn’t see Tom Cruise as Louis, nor did I see Brad Pitt as Lestat as I read it. I give it a hearty thumbs up. Not sure what I’ll read next.

I’m thinking either the next book in the Vampire Chronicles series or try to read the Dark Tower Series again. Not sure.

In other news, Beatles: Rock Band is pretty glorious and I’m not really a fan. The 3 part harmonies are a stroke of genius as far as plastic instrument games. Also moderately enjoying Guitar Hero 5. Great setlist and the vocals don’t completely suck. My main plastic instrument playing partner is not a fan of GH5 however. Kinda harshes my mellow man.

In other, other news. Still not watching much. Started watching the second season of Chuck finally. Still a fun ass show. Nothing great, but just fun. Also can’t wait for the season finale of True Blood. Shit gonna get craaaazy. Watched the Weeds finale and meh. Still better than the trainwreck that was Season 2.

And finally in other, other, other news. Keanu Reeves is a horrible fuckin’ actor. Not horrible like, “man he’s not very good”. But horrible like, “What the fuck is he doing!? And, “What fuckin’ emotion is he trying to do there?” And, “Is he trying to hold in a fart?” I’m just saying…he sucks.

That is all.

*Obscure reference from the movie Fear of a Black Hat.

It’s been awhile eh? Well you can thank J.K. Rowling and my Kindle. I am now on the 5th Harry Potter book. Yeah, I know. It’s pretty fuckin’ glorious. My favorite thus far is probably The Prisoner of Azkaban with Goblet of Fire running a very close second. That one almost brought a tear to my eye. Then I manned the fuck up and imagined how great it would be to punch a unicorn in the face. I’m a man! That’s all I’ve really done at this point…not punch a unicorn, like midgets, they’re not real. But reading is all I’ve done. I watch the occasional movie when I have company. Ditto that on the gaming. But when I’m alone, I do my damndest to get lost in a book. After I finish the Harry Potter series I’m gonna read The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Then it’s a toss up. I’ll probably just pick some book at random. I love my Kindle!

Movie wise, I’ve watched Hancock, Infernal Affairs, Van Wilder and Murder in the First. Quick reviews…

Hancock – A tale of two movies. They tried to cram two movies into one and it didn’t work out too well. First half, pretty damn good. Second half was a mess. Super cheesy ending. I would’ve left the whole super-powered (ex)wife for the sequel. Could’ve better, could have been worse. Rental at best. I give it a C.

Infernal Affairs – One of my favorite movies. Departed with Leonardo Dicaprio is based on this movie. Not much needs be said. One of my favorite movies so it must be good. Doesn’t hurt that it stars my two favorite Asian actors in Andy Lau and Tony Leung. Watch it bitches. Unless of course you’re one of those douschebags that don’t be likin’ them there foreign movies with their ching chang chong shit. To that I say fuck you.

Van Wilder – Has hands down the most revolting scene in cinematic history and it is glorious. Good, mindless, “teen” comedy. In the same vein of movies such as American Pie.

Murder in the First – Haven’t actually finished it. But who knows when I’ll blog again. What I’ve seen is pretty good. I really like Kevin Bacon and Gary Oldman. Couple of fine actors. Loosely based on a true story…very loosely according to wiki. Worth a viewing, not so much a purchase.

Gaming wise, I’m mostly playing Halo 3 and Rock Band 2. I did just get NCAA Football and it’s pretty glorious. Lot of little glitches in the gameplay. Seems kinda rushed, but I’m still enjoying it a lot.

TV Wise I’ve been slacking. Watching True Blood. Not great, but just bad enough and funny to keep watching and still better than that Twilight shit. Also watching Weeds. Better than last season but that’s not saying much.

That’s it for me. Next time I’ll have pictures and whatnot.

That is all.

Well I finished up the fourth book(Choke Point by Jay MacLarty) in the Simon Leonidovich series and I’m pretty satisfied with how it ended. I was a little put off early when suddenly, without explanation, Simon was no longer involved with his love interest from the previous book. But only temporarily as I soon forgot all about her and focused on the inevitable relationship between him and Kara. It just made sense. Again, well written with lots of intrigue and impossible to get out of situations. Unless of course you are Houdini Leonidovich, aka Simple Simon. Half the fun with these books is seeing just how he’s gonna escape the predicaments he’s in. And he’s in a shit ton of them. I hope there’s a 5th book in the series eventually.

Also started reading the first Harry Potter book…no thanks to that cunt J.K. Rowling. Apparently you can’t get the Harry Potter books on the Kindle(or any e-reader) because she wants kids to have the feeling of actually holding and reading her book. Of course that screws people like me with fucked up hands. Those books are fricken ginormous. If they ever are released on the Kindle I won’t hesitate to buy them, but until then, fuck her. I’ve got all seven of her books on my Kindle thanks to a kind sir and an easy to download torrent.

Anyway, pretty good thus far. I was a tad skeptical as I believe this was her first book so I thought it’d be a little slow going. Also having seen the movie a few times made me a little apprehensive as well. Thus far though, I’m really enjoying it. I’m only 6 chapters in but so far I think it’s better than the movie. Of course that’s pretty much par for the course as far as book to movie adaptations go.

I may have mentioned it before but I love my Kindle 2. Reading is actually fun again. Also found out, it’s a pretty good device for reading Manga thanks to a handy tool called Mangle. I added my own screensavers as well. Mostly authors I really like. Some randomness as well. I’ll post them now. I have a sweet Alan Moore one as well, but it’s currently M.I.A. I’ll post it when I find it

I’ve had this book for ages but for whatever reason, never got around to reading it, despite loving the first 2 books in the Leonidovich series. Reading is almost a chore for me with my hands being all retarded thanks to a nasty case of broken neck.

Anyway, I recently bought the Amazon Kindle and the first book I bought was Live Wire despite already owning the hard copy. Needless to say, I finished it in two sittings. For one, the book was really good, and two the Kindle fuckin’ rocks.

The return of Retnuh was a nice surprise if not a bit disappointing compared to his appearance in Bagman, which was great. My only complaint was like the last 4 to 6 pages. Just seemed implausible. Wrapped up too nicely. I’m still curious why Hollywood hasn’t picked up on this series. If done right, it could be phenomenal, as all the characters are very well-rounded and I wanna see Retnuh on the big screen dammit! Can’t wait to pick up the next book in the series…on Kindle. I’ll probably pick up the hard copy as well, just because I own the first 3.

Also a quick thanks to Amazon for helping me rediscover my love for reading. The Kindle is amazing.

Now I need to finish up Civil War before Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 comes out.

…or just a visual representation showing that Dr. Manhattan was becoming detached from humanity. Things that we freak over, have zero meaning to him as he’s no longer with us. If you’re confused by the opening of my post then you suck for not reading The Watchmen. My opening statement is based on the movie however. I can’t believe how many people are so shallow/stupid/short-sighted/small-minded/etc. that something like a blue penis makes a movie unwatchable. He no longer felt anything for the human race. Blue penis…get over it and grow the fuck up. I’m done preaching now…so on to happy happy fun time review movie time!

Watchmen(Imax) – Better than I expected and Imax is still amazing. My biggest complaint…the horrible music choices throughout the movie. The main two being the hallelujah song during the sex scene between Nite Owl and Silk Spectre and the most out of place piece of music imo was easily Jimi’s “All Along the Watchtower”. Just came out of nowhere and didn’t fit the scene at all. What works in print does not always translate well to screen.

Overall the changes didn’t bother me too much. I think it helped that I went into it knowing it could never meet my expectations so I just enjoyed it for what it was. One other minor complaint was the fact that apparently they were all expertly trained ninjas with super strength but I could let that go too. It made the fight scenes pretty enjoyable.

Good points. They could not have picked a better person to play Rorschach. That was pretty much the greatest casting EVER. Ozymandias, Dr. Manhattan, and The Comedian were great as well. Silk Spectre was ass. All in all, I can’t wait for the DVD. If I were to rank the current crop of comic-book movies it’d go…

1. The Dark Knight
2. Iron Man
3. Watchmen
4. Spiderman 2
5. Batman Begins

This time, the above average Part 1 offerings. There will be spoilers, so if you don’t want to be spoiled you might as well move on. We’ll start with comics.

First up is the Ultimates Volume 1&2 – The Ultimates is a re-imagining of many Marvel comic favorites…and not so favorites. The Cast includes Nick Fury, Captain America, Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, Hank Pym(Giant Man/Ant Man) his wife The Wasp, and in minor roles, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, and Black Widow.

The tone is a little grittier than some comics, and some of the super heroes aren’t so super. For example, the Hulk goes on a murderous rampage. The Ultimates are Ultimately forced to execute The Hulk. Dr Hank Pym is a wife beater, even going so far as to send an army of ants after his wife while in her Wasp form. The Thor side story was fun and actually made me like him(wasn’t ever a fan). And the overall story arcs of both volumes were pretty good. I say pick up the graphic novels and give them a read.

Next up, Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter – Guilty Pleasures – I’ve never read any of the Anita Blake books, hell never heard of them until this comic was released. The story is set in a place where Vampires, werewolves, and all kinds of creepy crawlies exist. Vampires are now “out” among the public. Anita, a necromancer and licensed Vampire Hunter is hired/blackmailed by the Master Vampire of the city to investigate a series of Vampire murders. She does so, and in the process gets into a whole lot of shit. If you’re into Vampires at all, check it out. Not sure if it’s available in Graphic Novel form yet. So you may have to acquire it through other means. Ebay, comic shop, *cough*demonoid.com*cough*

And the last post in part 1 of Above Average Media…an actual book…though it is Star Wars.
Star Wars: Darth Bane – Rule of Two by Drew Karpyshyn – Not near as good as the first one, but it mostly focused on his apprentice Zannah who I just couldn’t get into at all. It was still a good read and I really enjoyed the ending , but I had high expectations after the first Darth Bane book and Zannah didn’t deliver. So while it’s still above average, it was also disappointing in some respects.

Still left in Above Average Media reviews…
Live Free or Die Hard
Home Movies Season 2
Outlaw Star
Hard Boiled
3:10 to yuma

And by British, I of course mean reviews. Books, comics, games, and movies…mostly movies. While on my “vacation” I had lots of time for movie watching and did just that, as well as read a few books and comics so over the next few weeks, I will be reviewing said media. Upcoming for review…

Ultimates V1-2
Anita Blake – Vampire Hunter – Guilty Pleasures
Star Wars Darth Bane – Rule of Two by Drew Karpyshyn
Legacy of the Jedi 01 – Legacy of the Jedi (by Jude Watson)
Jedi Apprentice 01 – The Rising Force (by Dave Wolverton)
Chuck & Larry
Sansho the Bailiff
Live Free or Die Hard
Superbad
Home Movies Season 2
Boondocks Season 2
Outlaw Star
Hard Boiled
Election
Clerks 2
Replacements
3:10 to yuma
The Kingdom
Band of Brothers

I”ll start with the bad and mediocre. The bad being, “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”. I laughed a total of two times during the movie. It was just one long gay joke. The only saving grace…oh I think you know. Jessica Biel’s fine, fine ass. In the immortal words of Adam Sandler in the movie Billy Madison…”Soooo hot, want to touch the heinie.” That might be the best ass in Hollywood.

Want to touch the heinie

On to more bad. Next is the boring, pointless, uninteresting pile of literary feces by the name of “Legacy of the Jedi” (by Jude Watson). It was a 3 part series. After reading the first, I skipped it’s sequels. So bad. Nothing more needs to be said…skip it!

On to mediocre, we have the straight to DVD “Big Stan” starring Rob Schneider. It had everything I like in a comedy. It was crude, politically incorrect, violent, and nonsensical. It also had Bob Sapp, Don Frye, and Randy Couture in it who are all big names in MMA. Also stars Jennifer Morrison(House) and David Carradine. It’s not a movie I’d buy, but worth checking out with some friends.

And one last mediocre. Jedi Apprentice 01 – The Rising Force (by Dave Wolverton). It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t good. Hence…mediocre. I’m just gonna copy&paste a review I put up elsewhere…
“Much better(referring to the craptastic “Legacy of the Jedi), but still a bit slow. Gave some pretty good insight into Obi Wan and Qui Gon Jinn’s early relationship and how he came to be Qui-Gon’s Padawan. Nothing terribly interesting.” If you’re bored, it’s raining, the spank bank is empty, the electricity is out, you own the book, and have nothing else to read…give it a shot. But don’t go out of your way to read it.

And that’s it for today. Live long and prosper…or don’t, whatever.