Well, I haven’t quite blogged like I said I would now have I? I’m sure the 1-2 people who read it will survive. There have been some serious changes around here. Some infuckingcredible can also be referenced as unfuckingbelievable.

I, Jamaal Glaze, fucked around and some how got himself a lady friend. A lady friend you say. Yes, a lady friend I reply. 18 years I have avoided the world outside my room. Never feeling the need to mingle amongst the people in it. Shit, I felt I had it pretty good. I have 4 awesome fucking friends. My social needs were easily met with them. It’s been a process getting to this point but I got there and was very content.

Then something happened. A little thing called Twitter. Now I never use Twitter, it had been a couple years since I updated my ‘feed’. But lo and behold I get a twitter message from someone from my past. Like way past. Like 20 years past. Just a short message…@LilFnCube im tiffany***** we were friendswhen we were kids atrichardsgebauer..wldluv2hearfromu 816******* do u remember me

I almost ignored the message, as I honestly hadn’t a clue who she was and I sure as hell wasn’t calling her. I did eventually message her back. Had a little back and forth on twitter, and I eventually remembered her…a little.  I was apparently her first kiss.  As we talked more and more she quickly became known as my stalker by everyone around here.  I tried everything I could to scare her off.  I have many issues, the main one being my crippledness.  Of course some would say my emotional hurdles are much higher than my physical ones.  I laid it all out there.  It never fazed her.  She kept requesting I call her…I don’t call people.  Especially a stalker lol.  Finally her persistence paid off and I gave a little and we started texting.  Through texting things progressed…Fast.  I won’t go into details, but I will say, the details are very good and that she finally got her phone call.  It was pretty awkward, as I expected, but I got it out of the way

So despite doing all I could to scare her off she kept coming.  A couple more calls and lots of texting later we agreed to meet up.  I figured if she saw my crippledness, that would definitely send her running.  Though I was also curious if there was any chance for something more.  I knew she was interested, but I was still skeptical.  Its just not something I ever wanted again…ever.  I was perfectly content going through life alone.  I figured at best, I would gain a lifelong friend.  We had a lot in common, she seemed like a good person.  She’d come, realize I was not prime dating material and move on, right?

Wrooooong. We hit it off.  Boy did we hit it off.  My stalker was quickly becoming much much more.  And sure enough, two days later we were officially a couple.  It’s still weird…and scary, very.  I’ve never been in an adult relationship.  I’m 34 years old and I don’t have a friend over the age of 21.  We’re figuring it out together though.  I’m really digging her.  When I’m with her, it just feels right.  Like that is the way it was always meant to be.  Maybe it’s that I haven’t been with a lady in any capacity in 18 years.  I just know I like it…alot.  We have a 3 day weekend planned next weekend. I’m beyond excited about it.  I don’t believe in fate but if it exists, I think my current relationship is what you point at as evidence of it.  Otherwise it makes no fucking sense lol

Last night I went to a screening for Kevin Smith’s latest movie Red State. I’m gonna say, right up front, from all the reviews I had seen prior. I had very little interest in the film. My main reason for going was to see Kevin Smith. Due to very unfortunate circumstances, I was unable to see him at comic-con a few years back. Things got off to a great start when we arrived at The Midland Theater in Kansas City. Why, you ask. You asked, trust me. The reason being Fred Phelps and his group of gay-bashing brethren were there picketing the movie. The main antagonist of the movie is based on Fred Phelps. It was glorious to see and it only gets better. We go inside, and we have seats maybe five rows back from the stage…awesome.

Kevin Smith then proceeds to come out and introduce his movie and point out that there are some special guests in the audience tonight. Megan Phelps(Fred Phelps grand-daughter) and 14 other WBC members. Smith invited them to review the movie after the screening and they accepted. This however never came to fruition as Smith, who ripped them before the movie started in the only way he can. A verbal assault that had everybody laughin’ their asses off. After the movie ended, Smith once again took to the stage and informed us that the Phelps family had left 15 minutes into the film deeming it “filthy”. But wait, it gets even better. After a few inane questions from the audience, two people(Libby and Josh Phelps) who left the WBC introduced themselves, and giddy as shit Kevin Smith invites them on-stage. From here on out the Q&A has now turned into an interview with these two former members as we get a glimpse into their lives while they lived in the church and how they’ve adjusted to being free from the family. It was just fascinating. Made the whole experience 100x better.

As for the movie, I enjoyed it. It’s far from a horror movie however. More like a thriller, with some humor mixed in extremely well. Michael Parks was fucking incredible as the Fred Phelps-like character. John Goodman almost stole the show with his performance. He really needs to work more. He’s awesome. You never know what’s going to happen and it has some surprising moments. I’d give it a very solid 4 out of 5.

I hope it does well when it’s officially released and I hope the official DVD release has footage from the KC show in the extras. It was easily the best part of the night. Oh and Gates BBQ after the show wasn’t too bad either…mmmmmmh barbecue.

*edit* Here’s some video from said event with the Phelps’

PS: Fuck Phelps and the WBC, gay people rock!
PPS: Line of the night for me was delivered by Kevin Smith when talking about how some people equate all Christians with the WBC and how he has to explain how he’s not one of those Christians. And I quote, “I’m one of those other Christians. The kind that likes to smoke weed and eat ass.”

And I’m out.

Well, had the big family x-mas yesterday and unfortunately I was in attendance. Despite my vow to never attend one of these shindigs again, I was guilted into going by my gramps. He’s good, he’s very good. As per usual, I avoided everyone and everyone avoided me. I’m not complaining, I prefer it this way. I’m just not a big conversationalist. Especially not with the extended fam.

Though it could have been much worse. Thanks to Rock Band 3 and Douglas Adams it was an ok time. We played a bunch of rock band. Couldn’t convince anyone to sing…pussies. So I did all the singing. When we took our first break, I slapped on my ipod, cranked it up and started reading “So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish.” by Douglas Adams on my Kindle. Really liking it. Then we got our Rock Band on again which was followed by the opening of the presents which I also avoided by slappin’ on the trusty old ipod and playing some Angry Birds on my phone. Mission accomplished.

Now to figure out a way to avoid next year. Dang grandpa and his power of persuasion/guilt. Aw well, I’d do anything for him so I’m sure I’ll be back next year. As long as I have my ipod and kindle, I’ll survive

That is all…wait no it isn’t…

What the fuck Magic!? Hedo and Arenas? Are you trying to destroy the team? All I gotta say is Jameer better start. Arenas can fuck off to the bench, and Turk can just fuck off. God I hate this trade…FUCK!

With my oh so exciting life, I haven’t blogged as much as I’d like. So now I’m just bloggin’ to be bloggin’. Prepare for your mind to be blown. Or not, whatever.

Talked to my sister. She’s in some sober house in Missouri. I’m not holding my breath or anything. You know me, expect the worst, then your not disappointed when it happens. She got her 30 day chip a week or so ago. It’s hard to get excited about these things when you’ve been beat down so many times by hope. Fuck hope!

Had the big family Thanksgiving Saturday. Ive been told the kids were good. I didn’t go. Not a fan. I sat home, got caught up on some shows, played a little 360. Just a little me time before the hellions returned home. Best part of Thanksgiving…cherry cheese cake. Oh and thanks for the piece of pumpkin pie Sally!

Haven’t read anything since I finished Salem’s Lot, which I enjoyed a lot. Might have to read some more Stephen King…shut up Allen! Gonna start something today. Not sure what yet. Since my last “what I’ve read” post, Ive only read a couple things. I read the first two books in Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I liked ‘Interview with a Vampire’ better than ‘The Vampire Lestat’, though I really enjoyed reading about Lestat’s past. The rock ‘n’ roll crap was kind of lame though. Also read Elric: The Stealer of Souls. Its like Conan the Barbarian, but Elric is albino, weak, and wields a mystical sword that feeds off the souls of it’s victims making Elric strong like bull. Good stuff. That’s really about it.

I’ve watched Scott Pilgrim vs the World about 10 times in the last couple weeks. So much fun. Easily my favorite movie of the year. Started watching the newest season of Dexter. Looks like its gonna be another good one. Though just two episodes in, it’s reminding me a lot of season two with Doakes. Season two spoiler, skip next two sentences…I hope it ends the same as well. I’ve never liked Quinn.

That’s about it. Oh ond a busy week for me. Gotta go to my friends play Thursday or Friday, Cousin’s college b-ball game Saturday, and Tre’s x-mas program Monday. On top of that, its fucking cold! Oh the joy of being me.

Not nearly as frightening as 2 girls 1 cup, but it’s close. Update on last post. Still haven’t heard from her. Moving on…

Everybody’s wondering, “whats up with Jamaal?” Well the same as the last 7 years or so. A few videogames, a few movies, lots of kids. Videogame wise, I’m playing NCAA Football which is alright. NBA2k10 which I fuckin’ love even with the broken passing. Then of course Rock Band 2 always and forever…well until Rock Band 3…which I won’t be getting on launch due to a miscalculation of funds. I’m bummed. Also went back to Mass Effect 2 and doing an Insanity difficulty run. Not much else on that front.

Movie wise, I’ve watched a fuckton since my last review post. I can maybe remember a third of it. I’ll do some quick reviews…

Oldboy - Fuckin’ awesome.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno – Not Kevin Smith’s best, but better than Dogma and miles better than Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Definitely worth watching.
Point Break – The only movie I can stomach to watch Keanu in besides the Bill & Ted movies.
Fright Night – Vampire movie, so I obviously liked it. It’s an 80s flick so there’s obviously some cheese, but it’s awesomely bad smelling cheese.
Kick-Ass – Loved every minute of it. Just a fun movie.
Zombieland - Bill Murray made this movie for me, but even without him it was good fun.
Ponyo - Another Miyazaki animated film and just like all of his movies, I loved it.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs – Meh
Up - Slightly better than Meh
Kiki’s Delivery Service – Hayao Miyazaki again. One of his cuter movies, and I loved every bit of it.
Inglorious Bastards – Not as good as advertised but still fuckin’ great.
The Hangover – Funny, funny, and more funny. And the extras were nearly as funny as the movie itself.
Leon the Professional(Uncut version) – My favorite movie, so obviously highly recommended
Coraline - Complete shit if you read the book.
The Hebrew Hammer – God-awful fun. One of those movies that you know suck, but you can’t stop watching.
Afro Samurai Resurrection – Not as good as the first, but worth a watch…I guess
Anastasia – Tay says, “Meh”
Land Before Time – Loved it all over again
Ong Bak 2 – Fun ass-kickery but a shit stain of an ending
Let The Right One In – One of my favorite Vampire movies.
I think that’s plenty.

As for the kids. They’re good. Tre is a little mouthy to my mom sometimes. It has cost him about 3 weeks of games this month. Tay is either the sweetest thing in the world or hell on wheels. Oogie is too cute for his own good. Stubborn as all hell. And with that said, I am done. Even I was bored writing this post, so you the reader must be damn near comatose. Until next time…fuck you.

Oh yeah…Go Chiefs!

Long time no post…again. Hopefully I can get back to regular postings…now that the adoption is final! Woohoo! Now we’re officially and legally responsible for 3 munchkins for the next 16 years. Fun, fun. It’s a shame it ever came to this but as my subject line suggests. “You can’t choose your family.”

I haven’t heard from my sister in over a month. What that suggests to me, is she’s not doing the things that needs to be done. Which is a shame. Because come January she’s likely to lose the one kid she still had a chance to get. Maybe it’s for the best. I mean she’s essentially choosing drugs and alcohol over her own kids. Which I just don’t get how anybody can do that. I know it’s hard to quit using, but when it comes to your own kids it’s time to suck it up for their sake. How do you tell the kids that they can’t see their mom because she’d rather get fucked up than see them? How do you tell them that their mom would rather go get drunk than be a part of their lives? It’s a lose-lose for all involved. It boggles the mind how one can be so selfish. Again, I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do. I’m saying it should be an easy and obvious choice to make. Kids come first…always.

As for me. I’m slowly losing my best friend. I’m not much of a believer in God, but if he came to me for whatever reason, and told me I can only have one friend for the rest of my life it would be an easy answer…in the past. My sister. I wouldn’t have hesitated on the answer. Now, not so much. I hope one day we can be that again, but I will not dwell on it. Sometimes you just gotta move on without looking back. I hope she does the right thing someday. And on that day I will be there with open arms. Until then, C’est la vie!

Ooooo, I am for real. Today, I got a call that Ms. Rowling’s lawyers called my IP to tell them I was torrenting her books…and I’m sorry. But she had given me no choice. With my disability, it was the only way I could read them. So really it’s her fault for being so uptight about the ereader format. Would I have done it otherwise…nope. I still bought her books, but only so my non-disabled friends could read them. They’re too big for my retarded hands. So anyway, I’m sorry you can’t see the advantages of the ereader format. And I’m sorry you don’t see how much money you’re losing, and how many fans you will never have because of it. Until you do see that, people will continue to pirate your books because they have no other choice. I shall comply, because I don’t need anymore problems in my life. I’m just sayin’, don’t be so uptight Ms. Rowling, give in to the ereader, and I’ll be the first to purchase a copy of all seven books.

I just had a dream/nightmare where an ex-lady friend of mine sent me a 4 page letter, front-to-back, on why we can’t be together. All valid points lol. I read 3 and a half pages before I woke up. Talk about depressing shit. And it’s not like we just broke up. I haven’t dated in 16 years or more. What the hell is my brain trying to say after all this time. That I’m unfuckin’ datable? I can actually partly agree with that. I still act like a teenager 90% of the time. I don’t know. This woman still gets to me after all this time. Sometimes I feel like the Creedence song “I Put a Spell On You” is playing in the background whenever I think about her. *cue Twilight Zone music*

And I’m out.

Sort of. I got bored so I got together a recent picture of each of the “children who shall not be named”. They’ve been doctored to protect their innocence. Unfortunately that means only those closest to them can see how truly cute they are. Haha suckers! Anyway here they are as well as a few others including me!

Well I’ve just removed all references of the “children who shall not be named”. Apparently it violates their rights or some such nonsense. I don’t fricken know. Also removed all mention of the “court proceedings that shall not be named”. So while I haven’t posted anything worthwhile in a long ass time due to “family who shall not be named”, don’t expect anything in the future either as far as the “children who shall not be named” are concerned. For now on on the rare occasion I do mention the “children who shall not be named”, I’ll refer to them as Oogster, Queen Bee, and T-Rizzle. If you don’t know who’s who, well too fuckin’ bad.

Anyway, things are going good. I’d be more specific but I can’t! T-Rizzle is playing t-ball. He(or she, you just never know) is doing pretty good. 100x better than last year. Oogster is too cute, and Queen Bee is getting better. We watch cartoons together every morning. Not too bad, except when Yo Gabba Gabba is on…worse show ever!

As for me, well nothing new. UTI here, UTI there. Watching movies, playing games, and entertaining the troops. All in a day for your local neighborhood cripple. I did buy(well paid half) for a new Amazon Kindle. Should be here Tuesday. Late birthday present from my mom’s. It shall be glorious. T-Rizzle, whose b-day is 4 days after mine got himself(or herself) a Wii. I’d post pictures but apparently that’s frowned upon as well. Can’t wait until this mess is all over. Anyway, I’m out. More reviews on the way…eventually. Duck Soup highlighting what I’ve watched of late.

PS: Come on Magic!!!!!!!!