Well, I haven’t quite blogged like I said I would now have I? I’m sure the 1-2 people who read it will survive. There have been some serious changes around here. Some infuckingcredible can also be referenced as unfuckingbelievable.

I, Jamaal Glaze, fucked around and some how got himself a lady friend. A lady friend you say. Yes, a lady friend I reply. 18 years I have avoided the world outside my room. Never feeling the need to mingle amongst the people in it. Shit, I felt I had it pretty good. I have 4 awesome fucking friends. My social needs were easily met with them. It’s been a process getting to this point but I got there and was very content.

Then something happened. A little thing called Twitter. Now I never use Twitter, it had been a couple years since I updated my ‘feed’. But lo and behold I get a twitter message from someone from my past. Like way past. Like 20 years past. Just a short message…@LilFnCube im tiffany***** we were friendswhen we were kids atrichardsgebauer..wldluv2hearfromu 816******* do u remember me

I almost ignored the message, as I honestly hadn’t a clue who she was and I sure as hell wasn’t calling her. I did eventually message her back. Had a little back and forth on twitter, and I eventually remembered her…a little.  I was apparently her first kiss.  As we talked more and more she quickly became known as my stalker by everyone around here.  I tried everything I could to scare her off.  I have many issues, the main one being my crippledness.  Of course some would say my emotional hurdles are much higher than my physical ones.  I laid it all out there.  It never fazed her.  She kept requesting I call her…I don’t call people.  Especially a stalker lol.  Finally her persistence paid off and I gave a little and we started texting.  Through texting things progressed…Fast.  I won’t go into details, but I will say, the details are very good and that she finally got her phone call.  It was pretty awkward, as I expected, but I got it out of the way

So despite doing all I could to scare her off she kept coming.  A couple more calls and lots of texting later we agreed to meet up.  I figured if she saw my crippledness, that would definitely send her running.  Though I was also curious if there was any chance for something more.  I knew she was interested, but I was still skeptical.  Its just not something I ever wanted again…ever.  I was perfectly content going through life alone.  I figured at best, I would gain a lifelong friend.  We had a lot in common, she seemed like a good person.  She’d come, realize I was not prime dating material and move on, right?

Wrooooong. We hit it off.  Boy did we hit it off.  My stalker was quickly becoming much much more.  And sure enough, two days later we were officially a couple.  It’s still weird…and scary, very.  I’ve never been in an adult relationship.  I’m 34 years old and I don’t have a friend over the age of 21.  We’re figuring it out together though.  I’m really digging her.  When I’m with her, it just feels right.  Like that is the way it was always meant to be.  Maybe it’s that I haven’t been with a lady in any capacity in 18 years.  I just know I like it…alot.  We have a 3 day weekend planned next weekend. I’m beyond excited about it.  I don’t believe in fate but if it exists, I think my current relationship is what you point at as evidence of it.  Otherwise it makes no fucking sense lol

Last night I went to a screening for Kevin Smith’s latest movie Red State. I’m gonna say, right up front, from all the reviews I had seen prior. I had very little interest in the film. My main reason for going was to see Kevin Smith. Due to very unfortunate circumstances, I was unable to see him at comic-con a few years back. Things got off to a great start when we arrived at The Midland Theater in Kansas City. Why, you ask. You asked, trust me. The reason being Fred Phelps and his group of gay-bashing brethren were there picketing the movie. The main antagonist of the movie is based on Fred Phelps. It was glorious to see and it only gets better. We go inside, and we have seats maybe five rows back from the stage…awesome.

Kevin Smith then proceeds to come out and introduce his movie and point out that there are some special guests in the audience tonight. Megan Phelps(Fred Phelps grand-daughter) and 14 other WBC members. Smith invited them to review the movie after the screening and they accepted. This however never came to fruition as Smith, who ripped them before the movie started in the only way he can. A verbal assault that had everybody laughin’ their asses off. After the movie ended, Smith once again took to the stage and informed us that the Phelps family had left 15 minutes into the film deeming it “filthy”. But wait, it gets even better. After a few inane questions from the audience, two people(Libby and Josh Phelps) who left the WBC introduced themselves, and giddy as shit Kevin Smith invites them on-stage. From here on out the Q&A has now turned into an interview with these two former members as we get a glimpse into their lives while they lived in the church and how they’ve adjusted to being free from the family. It was just fascinating. Made the whole experience 100x better.

As for the movie, I enjoyed it. It’s far from a horror movie however. More like a thriller, with some humor mixed in extremely well. Michael Parks was fucking incredible as the Fred Phelps-like character. John Goodman almost stole the show with his performance. He really needs to work more. He’s awesome. You never know what’s going to happen and it has some surprising moments. I’d give it a very solid 4 out of 5.

I hope it does well when it’s officially released and I hope the official DVD release has footage from the KC show in the extras. It was easily the best part of the night. Oh and Gates BBQ after the show wasn’t too bad either…mmmmmmh barbecue.

*edit* Here’s some video from said event with the Phelps’

PS: Fuck Phelps and the WBC, gay people rock!
PPS: Line of the night for me was delivered by Kevin Smith when talking about how some people equate all Christians with the WBC and how he has to explain how he’s not one of those Christians. And I quote, “I’m one of those other Christians. The kind that likes to smoke weed and eat ass.”

And I’m out.

Well, had the big family x-mas yesterday and unfortunately I was in attendance. Despite my vow to never attend one of these shindigs again, I was guilted into going by my gramps. He’s good, he’s very good. As per usual, I avoided everyone and everyone avoided me. I’m not complaining, I prefer it this way. I’m just not a big conversationalist. Especially not with the extended fam.

Though it could have been much worse. Thanks to Rock Band 3 and Douglas Adams it was an ok time. We played a bunch of rock band. Couldn’t convince anyone to sing…pussies. So I did all the singing. When we took our first break, I slapped on my ipod, cranked it up and started reading “So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish.” by Douglas Adams on my Kindle. Really liking it. Then we got our Rock Band on again which was followed by the opening of the presents which I also avoided by slappin’ on the trusty old ipod and playing some Angry Birds on my phone. Mission accomplished.

Now to figure out a way to avoid next year. Dang grandpa and his power of persuasion/guilt. Aw well, I’d do anything for him so I’m sure I’ll be back next year. As long as I have my ipod and kindle, I’ll survive

That is all…wait no it isn’t…

What the fuck Magic!? Hedo and Arenas? Are you trying to destroy the team? All I gotta say is Jameer better start. Arenas can fuck off to the bench, and Turk can just fuck off. God I hate this trade…FUCK!

I watched this abomination of a movie over the weekend with my nephew. We’re both huge fans of the cartoon. It’s Tre’s favorite. So when we heard about the movie, we both were pretty excited for it. Then I heard M. Night Shyamalamadingdong was attached to direct, and my excitement immediately dropped.

Then I watched a special with Shyamalamadingdong on the making of the movie, and learned some troubling things. Number 1, no Kiyoshi warriors. They’re kind of important to the story, but whatever. Then I noticed he kept pronouncing Aang’s name as “Ong” instead of “Ayng”, and then he explained that that was how the Asian people would really say the name. I’m immediately like, “Fuck that shit!” Who gives a shit how they would say it. Its been pronounced “ayng” for three fucking seasons. That’s the name. What pissed me off most about that was not that the name was changed, it was that he was a hypocritical douchebag. He talks about the Asian people then casts two white people as two of the biggest roles. That being Sokka(pronounced ‘soeka’ now) and Katara. Never mind the entire water tribe looked like Inuit’s in the movie. Apparently we’re not supposed to notice that though.

Thirdly, Prince Zuko’s scar is barely noticeable. Again, kind of a big thing. It’s what makes him noticeable, what makes him unable to hide his shame and dishonor at the hands of his father. Now it’s just a little scratch that a little neosporin can take care of. Speaking of Zuko, his Uncle Iroh(now pronounced ‘eeroe’), Is not a fat jolly wise old man, but seemed more like a personal attendant. I felt no love coming from Iroh like I did in the cartoon. He was by far my favorite character in the show besides Aang.

Zuko’s father is horribly cast. Nothing about him screams Fire Lord. Just so fuckin’ bad. But even worse casting was the casting of Aasif Mandvi as Commander Zhao. Soon as he appeared on screen I thought, “Fuckin really?” I just can’t take him seriously after watching the Daily Show for years. I kept waiting for him to say something outlandish. But alas, he played it straight…just like everybody else.

Which brings me to point four. The complete lack of humor and personality in the movie. What made the show so endearing was the humor despite the herculean task in front of our would be heroes. They always managed to keep a fun positive air around them. In the movie its doom and gloom and the emotion they did try just did not come off good. I felt nothing for any of the character’s. Even when Princess Yue sacrificed herself, I just didn’t care.

The most telling thing about the movie is when my 7 year old nephew said, “The best part of the movie was at the beginning when they were doing the “fire, water, earth, air” thing.” He was harder on the movie than me, and he’s the key demographic. That’s saying something and that something isn’t fuckin’ good.

In closing, fuck you M. Night Shyamalamadingdong. Fuck you, your shitty writing, and your shitty directing. You’re barely a step behind Keanu Reeve’s as far as Hollywood shit is concerned. I bid you good day.

With my oh so exciting life, I haven’t blogged as much as I’d like. So now I’m just bloggin’ to be bloggin’. Prepare for your mind to be blown. Or not, whatever.

Talked to my sister. She’s in some sober house in Missouri. I’m not holding my breath or anything. You know me, expect the worst, then your not disappointed when it happens. She got her 30 day chip a week or so ago. It’s hard to get excited about these things when you’ve been beat down so many times by hope. Fuck hope!

Had the big family Thanksgiving Saturday. Ive been told the kids were good. I didn’t go. Not a fan. I sat home, got caught up on some shows, played a little 360. Just a little me time before the hellions returned home. Best part of Thanksgiving…cherry cheese cake. Oh and thanks for the piece of pumpkin pie Sally!

Haven’t read anything since I finished Salem’s Lot, which I enjoyed a lot. Might have to read some more Stephen King…shut up Allen! Gonna start something today. Not sure what yet. Since my last “what I’ve read” post, Ive only read a couple things. I read the first two books in Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I liked ‘Interview with a Vampire’ better than ‘The Vampire Lestat’, though I really enjoyed reading about Lestat’s past. The rock ‘n’ roll crap was kind of lame though. Also read Elric: The Stealer of Souls. Its like Conan the Barbarian, but Elric is albino, weak, and wields a mystical sword that feeds off the souls of it’s victims making Elric strong like bull. Good stuff. That’s really about it.

I’ve watched Scott Pilgrim vs the World about 10 times in the last couple weeks. So much fun. Easily my favorite movie of the year. Started watching the newest season of Dexter. Looks like its gonna be another good one. Though just two episodes in, it’s reminding me a lot of season two with Doakes. Season two spoiler, skip next two sentences…I hope it ends the same as well. I’ve never liked Quinn.

That’s about it. Oh ond a busy week for me. Gotta go to my friends play Thursday or Friday, Cousin’s college b-ball game Saturday, and Tre’s x-mas program Monday. On top of that, its fucking cold! Oh the joy of being me.

Not nearly as frightening as 2 girls 1 cup, but it’s close. Update on last post. Still haven’t heard from her. Moving on…

Everybody’s wondering, “whats up with Jamaal?” Well the same as the last 7 years or so. A few videogames, a few movies, lots of kids. Videogame wise, I’m playing NCAA Football which is alright. NBA2k10 which I fuckin’ love even with the broken passing. Then of course Rock Band 2 always and forever…well until Rock Band 3…which I won’t be getting on launch due to a miscalculation of funds. I’m bummed. Also went back to Mass Effect 2 and doing an Insanity difficulty run. Not much else on that front.

Movie wise, I’ve watched a fuckton since my last review post. I can maybe remember a third of it. I’ll do some quick reviews…

Oldboy - Fuckin’ awesome.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno – Not Kevin Smith’s best, but better than Dogma and miles better than Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Definitely worth watching.
Point Break – The only movie I can stomach to watch Keanu in besides the Bill & Ted movies.
Fright Night – Vampire movie, so I obviously liked it. It’s an 80s flick so there’s obviously some cheese, but it’s awesomely bad smelling cheese.
Kick-Ass – Loved every minute of it. Just a fun movie.
Zombieland - Bill Murray made this movie for me, but even without him it was good fun.
Ponyo - Another Miyazaki animated film and just like all of his movies, I loved it.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs – Meh
Up - Slightly better than Meh
Kiki’s Delivery Service – Hayao Miyazaki again. One of his cuter movies, and I loved every bit of it.
Inglorious Bastards – Not as good as advertised but still fuckin’ great.
The Hangover – Funny, funny, and more funny. And the extras were nearly as funny as the movie itself.
Leon the Professional(Uncut version) – My favorite movie, so obviously highly recommended
Coraline - Complete shit if you read the book.
The Hebrew Hammer – God-awful fun. One of those movies that you know suck, but you can’t stop watching.
Afro Samurai Resurrection – Not as good as the first, but worth a watch…I guess
Anastasia – Tay says, “Meh”
Land Before Time – Loved it all over again
Ong Bak 2 – Fun ass-kickery but a shit stain of an ending
Let The Right One In – One of my favorite Vampire movies.
I think that’s plenty.

As for the kids. They’re good. Tre is a little mouthy to my mom sometimes. It has cost him about 3 weeks of games this month. Tay is either the sweetest thing in the world or hell on wheels. Oogie is too cute for his own good. Stubborn as all hell. And with that said, I am done. Even I was bored writing this post, so you the reader must be damn near comatose. Until next time…fuck you.

Oh yeah…Go Chiefs!

Long time no post…again. Hopefully I can get back to regular postings…now that the adoption is final! Woohoo! Now we’re officially and legally responsible for 3 munchkins for the next 16 years. Fun, fun. It’s a shame it ever came to this but as my subject line suggests. “You can’t choose your family.”

I haven’t heard from my sister in over a month. What that suggests to me, is she’s not doing the things that needs to be done. Which is a shame. Because come January she’s likely to lose the one kid she still had a chance to get. Maybe it’s for the best. I mean she’s essentially choosing drugs and alcohol over her own kids. Which I just don’t get how anybody can do that. I know it’s hard to quit using, but when it comes to your own kids it’s time to suck it up for their sake. How do you tell the kids that they can’t see their mom because she’d rather get fucked up than see them? How do you tell them that their mom would rather go get drunk than be a part of their lives? It’s a lose-lose for all involved. It boggles the mind how one can be so selfish. Again, I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do. I’m saying it should be an easy and obvious choice to make. Kids come first…always.

As for me. I’m slowly losing my best friend. I’m not much of a believer in God, but if he came to me for whatever reason, and told me I can only have one friend for the rest of my life it would be an easy answer…in the past. My sister. I wouldn’t have hesitated on the answer. Now, not so much. I hope one day we can be that again, but I will not dwell on it. Sometimes you just gotta move on without looking back. I hope she does the right thing someday. And on that day I will be there with open arms. Until then, C’est la vie!

Ooooo, I am for real. Today, I got a call that Ms. Rowling’s lawyers called my IP to tell them I was torrenting her books…and I’m sorry. But she had given me no choice. With my disability, it was the only way I could read them. So really it’s her fault for being so uptight about the ereader format. Would I have done it otherwise…nope. I still bought her books, but only so my non-disabled friends could read them. They’re too big for my retarded hands. So anyway, I’m sorry you can’t see the advantages of the ereader format. And I’m sorry you don’t see how much money you’re losing, and how many fans you will never have because of it. Until you do see that, people will continue to pirate your books because they have no other choice. I shall comply, because I don’t need anymore problems in my life. I’m just sayin’, don’t be so uptight Ms. Rowling, give in to the ereader, and I’ll be the first to purchase a copy of all seven books.

Did you miss me? Yeah didn’t think so. Of course I don’t care. I’m here for me and me only. So F.Y.M.F.!* Moving on.

Still reading, though it’s been slow going since finishing the greatness that is the Harry Potter series. The last two books was pure awesome. Deathly Hallows actually had me crying like the sensitive man that I am. I actually had to stop reading for a minute to compose myself. After I finished the series I meandered through a couple books. I started 3 different books before settling on Interview With a Vampire by Anne Rice. I can’t even remember which 3 books they were. The only one I remember is “Stuff White People Like” by Christian Lander. Pretty funny stuff from what I read, though I’m not sure if it was the white side of me laughing with me, or the black side laughing at me lol. What were the other 2 books?….hmmm. After a quick look at my Kindle the other 2 books were Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” and The Collected Stories of H. P. Lovecraft: Volume One. Neither grabbed me right away. So I ended up going with what I know, and that’s vampire’s.

Anybody that knows me knows I’m a vampire freak. Love the mythology behind them. With that said, I think I’ve only read one vampire book. That being the incredible I Am Legend by Richard Matheson. Awesome fuckin’ book. Anyway, so I decided on Interview With a Vampire as I had some familiarity with it having seen the movie. It was slow going. Not really a fan of Anne Rice’s writing style. Took about half the book before I could really get into it. After the rough start I really enjoyed it. Even better I didn’t see Tom Cruise as Louis, nor did I see Brad Pitt as Lestat as I read it. I give it a hearty thumbs up. Not sure what I’ll read next.

I’m thinking either the next book in the Vampire Chronicles series or try to read the Dark Tower Series again. Not sure.

In other news, Beatles: Rock Band is pretty glorious and I’m not really a fan. The 3 part harmonies are a stroke of genius as far as plastic instrument games. Also moderately enjoying Guitar Hero 5. Great setlist and the vocals don’t completely suck. My main plastic instrument playing partner is not a fan of GH5 however. Kinda harshes my mellow man.

In other, other news. Still not watching much. Started watching the second season of Chuck finally. Still a fun ass show. Nothing great, but just fun. Also can’t wait for the season finale of True Blood. Shit gonna get craaaazy. Watched the Weeds finale and meh. Still better than the trainwreck that was Season 2.

And finally in other, other, other news. Keanu Reeves is a horrible fuckin’ actor. Not horrible like, “man he’s not very good”. But horrible like, “What the fuck is he doing!? And, “What fuckin’ emotion is he trying to do there?” And, “Is he trying to hold in a fart?” I’m just saying…he sucks.

That is all.

*Obscure reference from the movie Fear of a Black Hat.

It’s been awhile eh? Well you can thank J.K. Rowling and my Kindle. I am now on the 5th Harry Potter book. Yeah, I know. It’s pretty fuckin’ glorious. My favorite thus far is probably The Prisoner of Azkaban with Goblet of Fire running a very close second. That one almost brought a tear to my eye. Then I manned the fuck up and imagined how great it would be to punch a unicorn in the face. I’m a man! That’s all I’ve really done at this point…not punch a unicorn, like midgets, they’re not real. But reading is all I’ve done. I watch the occasional movie when I have company. Ditto that on the gaming. But when I’m alone, I do my damndest to get lost in a book. After I finish the Harry Potter series I’m gonna read The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Then it’s a toss up. I’ll probably just pick some book at random. I love my Kindle!

Movie wise, I’ve watched Hancock, Infernal Affairs, Van Wilder and Murder in the First. Quick reviews…

Hancock – A tale of two movies. They tried to cram two movies into one and it didn’t work out too well. First half, pretty damn good. Second half was a mess. Super cheesy ending. I would’ve left the whole super-powered (ex)wife for the sequel. Could’ve better, could have been worse. Rental at best. I give it a C.

Infernal Affairs – One of my favorite movies. Departed with Leonardo Dicaprio is based on this movie. Not much needs be said. One of my favorite movies so it must be good. Doesn’t hurt that it stars my two favorite Asian actors in Andy Lau and Tony Leung. Watch it bitches. Unless of course you’re one of those douschebags that don’t be likin’ them there foreign movies with their ching chang chong shit. To that I say fuck you.

Van Wilder – Has hands down the most revolting scene in cinematic history and it is glorious. Good, mindless, “teen” comedy. In the same vein of movies such as American Pie.

Murder in the First – Haven’t actually finished it. But who knows when I’ll blog again. What I’ve seen is pretty good. I really like Kevin Bacon and Gary Oldman. Couple of fine actors. Loosely based on a true story…very loosely according to wiki. Worth a viewing, not so much a purchase.

Gaming wise, I’m mostly playing Halo 3 and Rock Band 2. I did just get NCAA Football and it’s pretty glorious. Lot of little glitches in the gameplay. Seems kinda rushed, but I’m still enjoying it a lot.

TV Wise I’ve been slacking. Watching True Blood. Not great, but just bad enough and funny to keep watching and still better than that Twilight shit. Also watching Weeds. Better than last season but that’s not saying much.

That’s it for me. Next time I’ll have pictures and whatnot.

That is all.